BrAiNdErAnGeD

....

2009-11-07T23:56:00.004+05:30

I got no clue to what i am looking at. It could be a person to have a drink with, a person to have a talk, or a person to share the bed with. Worse, it could be all of the above. I am in no position to start a new relationship, and these are times when I am keeping away from the company of a woman, for multiple reasons.

A strange, weird feeling have taken over me, which drives me into talking. chatting. The feeling looks quite temporary. But I aint putting a hold to it. I dont have to stop something which I feel, is temporary. If it is not, then I should not be holding at all.

Either way, let it be. As long as it doesnt hurt anyone.

So let the thin 5ft. remain.

one good invention.

2009-11-04T23:34:00.002+05:30

well.. i have been talking about invention and inventions.. Its been some time since a revolutionary invention was made - since the invention of condoms and other contraceptives..

SO here is this invention I want badly.. The machine uses the existing internet connection.

The user A, pours whiskey to the bluetooth "whiskey reader" in his laptop, and the poured whiskey comes out through the whiskey/universal alcohol receiver at user B system.

The internet /admin may charge 10ml of whiskey per 120 ml transferred.

comments welcome.

a big sigh.. again.

2009-11-03T21:33:00.001+05:30

High school kids have started calling me "uncle"

Things were never this depressing for some time now.

TOp 10.. Inventions

2009-11-01T08:59:00.003+05:30

Ok. Heres my top ten list of inventions !!!

1> Alcohol.

2> Yo Yo

3> Tooth Paste

4> Tissue Paper

5> Condoms

6> Square Ruled note book

7> Chinese Green Tea

8> Electric Guitar and the distortion kit.

9> Pillow

10> TV Remote Control.

And here is the 10 worst inventions...

1> Mobile Phones

2> Underwear and Clothes

3> Microsoft Windows

4> Credit Cards

5> SMS lingo - writing "dat" for 'that', "u" for 'you' and so on..

6> Cigarette/tobacco

7> Marriage

8> Concrete

9> Greeting Cards

10>The apple (Invented by Adam and given to Eve.)

Let it be written, let it be believed

2009-10-25T22:42:00.004+05:30

At last. I got a night at my home, and i have a relatively clean mind. Clean mind means nasty thoughts, and nasty blogs, of course. :P

I have forgotten about this news, but today at work in planetarium, this topic came in again. News of this highly bright girl, who belongs to my city, and also, lives close to my home. And this bright girl seems to play with astrophysics. Hmm.. I should be interested. The reason why I am linked with Planetarium, is, or may be, is, I used to do something with Astronomy and Astrophysics.

I saw the real article some time back. I just read the headline. I was too busy, I had work to do so that I can live. Then came in calls from my friends and people I know. Many accused me of not knowing this girl, cause this girl is huge, and her new theories question Einstien Himself. Wow. And She is in US, doing this and that. Great. Let her be.

My attention came back to the topic, when my old friend, bahiravan aka Anoop G, had this circulating. I used to follow his writings, and then, i did follow the links. And the whole story turned out to be a hoax, at least when I look from this angle.

For malayalam readers,

http://bhairavan.in/narmabhumi/

Whew...

"She designed a rocket that can reach mars !!!" says the news

So why, is it that she didnt launch it !! Scrap ISRO. Scrap the hundreds of scientists who have been designing rockets which can reach Moon.

It takes years to design a good rocket that flies to space. Hundreds of scientists work on it. You just cant draw a sketch and expect it to work. Its all common sense. It took us a couple of days to design a small rocket which was guaranteed to fly at our annual Rocket making workshop. Well, we have been working on model rockets for some time now..

I believe thats what she did. Connecting a commercially available rocket motor to a tube and attach a nose cone. Kids do it every year at our workshops, here in calicut.

"She is a part of Google Lunar X Race..."

Thats great, but which team. Anyone with money can register in the race. I have been looking for sponsorships, who can shell out 7.5 Lakhs just for registering a new team. And millions to take us to the launch. No indian team have registered yet, 21 teams have registered as for now. The teams CANNOT be governmental, so she must be part of one of those 21 teams. Which one??

Even if she is part of the team, what is she working at?

Designing the rover? programming it? designing the flight path? Well.. These are not kids play, all she will be able to do, is to watch, and study what the guys are doing. Thats what student teams do. They dont really make things of this dimension.

http://www.googlelunarxprize.org/lunar/teams

I am surprised at the report that she has been invited to different countries, before even she published her first paper. Publishing a paper and convincing the scientific world about the theory, is a different thing. Reading books, and thinking and Coming up with a theory is a different thing. Theories need to be substantiated with proper proof. That, is more difficult.

I am no one to comment on other things that came in the news, because i have no first hand information on the truth, and I cannot rely on blogs to know the truth. But I disagree pretty much on her views, that she had to rely on other countries, because our country is not FIT for her.

lol.

I would have refrained on writing something bad on her, but This statement pissed me off. if you are anything now, its because of this country. If you were in a different country, you would have been carrying a child by now. Just a possibility. No offence intended.

If she said that, i am really ashamed of her. Our scientists are among the best, and IIA and TIFR are among world standards, in terms of brain. Kavalur has the biggest optical telescope in Asia, and our country have good Radio telescopes. Forget about big things India have. She could have visited at least the Calicut Regional Science Center, and have a look at the Library. I dont have a memory of her visiting, my apologies if I am wrong.

Other claims of her has been discussed here, in Bhairavans blog, so there is no point why I should write on it.

http://bhairavan.in/narmabhumi/

scroll down to see the discussions. He has arranged things clean, as usual.

The girl is lucky, she had good exposure. She has a head start compared to other kids. I believe its too early to talk about her talent, because until now, she has NOT PROVEN anything. So let us see her papers, and let the scientific community work on it and decide on it.

Let her grow up. The media has taken a toll on her, or the real culprit might be her guide, whoever that is.

Last word:

If the reporter is not yet fired, somebody might put the press office on fire later on.

Last Last word:

Good luck, kid, I had no intentions to demotivate you, but these are things that you have to cope up, and if you can get over it, and prove a point later on, you can be stronger than what you are. Now, you have a point to prove, take this as a challenge. And stop mixing religion and science. If you have it in you, prove it. The country will be with you.

Feels like it.

2009-10-23T21:17:00.002+05:30

My mind seems to be stabilising. I am surprised it took all these years.. close to 30 years for it even seem like stabilising.

I look back at the life spent. I always preferred to look at the things i liked. I always refused to look at the ugly side.

I am scared.

Rather uneasy.

Rather disturbed.

Scared that i might hate myself. Scared to look back ride through the self realisation that I have been living different than what i really was. I have been overrating myself.

I look back at the blog. I look at the theme it reflects. I can see the darkness it spreads. It comes back to the theme that life doesnt matter much. It radiates negative feelings, most of the time.

Even this post. YES.

I fail to write humour. I tried hard, i couldnt.

I feel like lifting up the spirit of my blog.

I cant.

numb.

The lines of the stupid and the insane.

2009-10-15T19:06:00.004+05:30

Dawn is here again.

Wild rough waves in the ocean caress once in a while.

Sheer power of the ocean, trying hard to topple down the thin wooden raft.

For no known reasons.

The raft prefers to be aloft. Be it be toppled, be it be thrown up. Be it be broken.

The raft will be aloft.

Its all about holding on to it, all the time. Its all about not letting it go.

The calm waters and the clear sky seems to be more scary.

The calm before the storm, they say.

Pray for the storm be fast.

So the fear be gone.

Life seem to be sailing, with or without it.

WHen !!??

2009-09-29T00:57:00.000+05:30

when will I (L)earn !!

Anger management.

2009-09-21T08:40:00.004+05:30

Here I was, in front of the mirror. The bathroom mirror. Looking at my face and wondering if I looked good or not. I was taking bath, and for obvious reasons, I am nude. The pot belly has reduced in diameter, probably because of my less alcohol intake, or may be, the green tea. But still I didnt like the way I looked. I am happy with everything below the waist (no detailed description, you pervert !! :P ), but everything above it seemed to need urgent attention.

I like my shoulders, but my elbow seems to need moisturizers. The lower part of my hand seems to be too dark than the upper part. Blame it on the sun and half sleeve t shirts. And well.. the face. sigh.

I dont know why I started growing my hair. Or rather, stopped cutting my hair. I wanted long hair, for no reason. Well, I aint imitating something. People say I am imitating APJ, and Dhony (when he had long hair). I hate them saying that. Coming back to the point, it looks real ugly if I dont fix it properly. Well. let it. I aint cutting it soon.

I am happy with my nose. Except for the small, painful pimples that comes up every time i forget to wash my face. My eyes are normally discolored, and droopy, but I am fine with that. Ears.. No problem. I hardly clean it. So dont peep into my ears.

I dont like my cheeks. But nothing I can do about it. My lips either. I think its too thick. well.. Open my mouth and I see my teeth.

There is this small piece broken off my front tooth. Blame it on my anger. Every time I am angry on phone, I first bite my teeth, and then this small piece will break off off my front tooth, and then I would call the other person an A@# H%^& and then keep the phone. I save a lot of mobile bill this way, but I am losing my tooth.

I need anger management. I have been counting numbers, but that piss me off fast, because I cant count properly when in anger. I need to model my brain as a set of stupid chemicals, giving out signals to the wrong dendrites and axions when in anger.

Whew.. before I finished thinking, it seems to be working. Chemicals. Blame it on the chemicals. And not the F***ing A**h*** who is standing in front of you, who did all the wrong things.

It, for sure, is a weird, weird world.

A day with my future.

2009-09-13T10:53:00.006+05:30

So I did. I went to this astrologer, with my friend. I am an athiest, alright, and obviously i dont believe in these stuff. Alright again. But its fun listening to people talking about our lives. Our future, our past. To believe it or not, is not the question.

My friend was more serious than I was. He believes in it, though not a hard core believer. Anyway, the appointment was fixed, and there we were, in front of this man.

He had this typical astrologer look, clad in "bhasma" on usual places on his body. He had thick beard and moustache, but groomed. We sat in chairs, and he sat in front of us, with this wooden board, rested on a small piece of furniture. That was my first time to any astrologer, and all I know about this species of men, are from movies, mostly played by thilakan. But this one was different. The ones in movies sat on the floor, wile this one preferred a chair. Good.. Its been long time since i sat on the floor, and sitting down for long means pain.

So my friend gave the "jathakam", and the astrologer took out a set of sea shells out of this cute pouch. It (the pouch) looked beautiful. Small squares were drawn on the board, and malayalam alphabets written on the sides. He took his time to arrange the shells on different squares, and whats in store for my friend was revealled. Well, majority of what he said seemed to be true, even to me. A bright future was predicted, and now it was my turn.

I didnt have this "Jathakam" because it was not written. The time, date, etc was given and he did some stuff with the shells, and there it was -

He asked me if I was married. I said no.

And heres what he had to say, -

> My life will be straight, only after I get married

> I will have increasing debt

> I will be wandering, and will not have a fixed income

> I will have no benefit from my work, others will benefit from my business

> I might have love affairs, but I do not have to guts to marry one of them

> There is a problem with the "vasthu" of my house, which is creating problems

> My mother might fall down

> It will be difficult, for me to fix up a marriage, but I must try

> Nothing will be right until I get married

> And I have to be willing to marry so that I can get married.

hmm.. the future doesnt look bright, as I dont have any intention to get married in the near future. What he said of my current state of affairs might be true, or in fact very true. So if my future, as he predicted, is in doom, if I aint getting married, well.....

I aint scared. But I am, for sure uneasy. Things was never going straight, and it never seemed it will be straight. So I am sort of used to it. Its when a solution becomes the most difficult thing you can do in life.

Well.. Still, I am an athiest. All these things should be meaningless. But the guy did disturb my mind. My people used to believe I have a secret attachment to god, and that I might be praying in private. That I am carrying with my athiesm as a fashion. I do not care what others say about my belief, and my belief stands as strong as it used to be.

Well., of course, I aint getting married. That thought is far more scary than what can happen If i dont marry.

period.

winning

2009-09-12T09:03:00.000+05:30

You win some, you lose ~~some~~ more

That one line that defines me best

2009-09-08T21:47:00.001+05:30

Trust me, I aint trustable.

..

2009-09-08T01:10:00.002+05:30

allein

....

2009-09-06T00:09:00.000+05:30

Self realisation has been the toughest thing that i ever tried to handle.

I am yet to handle it good.

darn

2009-09-05T01:27:00.001+05:30

Its only the famous who might not want to be famous.

And its only the rich who believes the poor has a better state of mind.

Fear of the consequences.

2009-09-02T09:27:00.004+05:30

The woman looked good. Words might fail to express the way she looked. The skin had light tones of wheat. The hair had the warmth but felt cool and serene. The eyes were milky white, and the nose seemed to be perfect. The lips were inviting, and the body had all perfect bends. The perfect figure every man would love to look at and every woman would love to possess.

She stood near the platform, waiting for her train to come. so did the many people, who were to take the same train. She could feel all the stares and the looks caressing her face, and every part of her body. Yet she stood alone. Men roamed around her, rearranged their attire in the best way they could. No one dared to come forward and start a conversation. Inhibitions. of all sorts. The fear of rejection, the fear of insult. The fear of giving out unnatural gestures. The increased heart beat.

In came the man, he could not place his steps. The backpack looked ackward in shape, it was obvious the things inside were stuffed in in the last minute. Its been days since he touched the shaving machine, or months since he has visited the salon. The top buttons remained unbuttoned, and the chest hair stood out of the vent to get the fresh air. He smelled whiskey, it was like he was drinking all day long.

He walked slowly, down to our lady. He could not feel the difference. He could not understand the beauty either.

"howdy ??" came out of the worn out lips, tinted with alcohol breath.

The sadistic thing.

2009-09-02T09:24:00.001+05:30

I am, for sure getting happy when i see some one in dire straits.

sadistic?

Very much like me.

2009-09-02T09:20:00.001+05:30

Things are going very much unlike me.

That makes it very much like me.

Ironic.

It is.

Its when the only truth in the world seems to be the irony.

UNtiTLed

2009-08-12T18:34:00.006+05:30

"pachcheess"

now, what is pachees supposed to be? I have heard of this word before, but i was confused if it is 25 or 50. I dont want the rikshaw guy to take me for a ride, so the next thing i did is to text someone, who claims, has a good command over the language called hindi.

'50'. the SMS came back in no time. I was happy. I made a good looking fool out of myself last time, when i came down to delhi - That was when I was advised to take an auto if it costs less than 60. And then I refused to take an auto when the driver proposed "satt," and instead, asked him to take me for "sixty", to which he readily agreed. I thought I saved 20.

Coming back to the story - I walked down through the array of rickshaws, and when the next rikshaw guy came, i refused to go for 'pachees'.. Instead I proposed 'thirty' which he readily agreed. I got in with a smile, and being proud of being a good bargainer, in a world whose language i hardly know.

....

2009-07-08T10:49:00.001+05:30

At times, the answer turns out to be more disturbing than its question.

....

2009-07-08T08:27:00.002+05:30

Money IS getting expensive day by day.

May be, they should allow good old barter system in banks.

That last thing.

2009-07-07T22:50:00.002+05:30

The last thing I want when I ride my old age is a fat body and/or an erectile dysfunction.

The long and winding road.

2009-07-06T09:24:00.004+05:30

The road was clean. Apart from little pools of water that reminds me of the rain yesterday, the road was inviting. Thin layers of mist surrounded the car, accompanied by cool breeze. The sun was not yet born for the day. The scenario was perfect for a long drive. Just the kind of start I wanted.

Yesterday was rather hectic. I am no planner, even though I am always teased for my planning. Magazines, and experienced people always reminds me and preach about the planning and preparations for a long journey of my kind. Advices, suggestions and strict orders are always on the line. Well, I had my own list of schemes anyway.

I armed myself with nonsense commonsense, huge volumes of passion, great measures of laziness, and insanity as required. I used to have a collection of aggression of various kinds, which I have lost one by one, on my previous ventures. Mixed variety of emotions and mild volumes of explosive sensitivity have taken their place.

The tyres on my car are tired, they need expensive replacements. Fuel level remained insufficientas usual. Brakes were hardly serviced, for they were hardly used.

I have started off anyway. All set. Or I believe all set. Or so, I thought.

I Knew I forgot something. I knew something is missing.

The map.

Well, I even do not know where I am driving to. I guess i do not need a map for that kind of a journey.

Never. Ever.

2009-06-29T16:47:00.003+05:30

Its been some days, and I still cannot believe, digest, accept, understand, come into terms or whatever with the news. Some body died, because of a heart attack. I continued to be in a good mood. I am happy. The news did nothing to my mood or level of frustration. After all, my inner self has refused to believe the news.

Jacko is dead.

I remember the first time I have started to listen to any music which is english. That was Bad. The Album Bad. He looked ackward. He had long hair which I thought looked ugly, had a glove in one hand and other weird things. He used to hold on to his crotch while he danced. Well, the music was better. I must have been a 12 yo then.

There were no CDs then. In fact, CDs were yet to be invented. A tape recorder was a luxury in and around my household. I remember we had one at home. But cassets were too expensive. So I would go to this friends place where he had some cassets, and listen to them there.

A couple of years later, and I remember I had all his albums till date. I collected all the lyrics (There was no computer, forget the internet), and would sing and dance to the music. His attire, his attitude and all other weird things were quite understandable. He was all. I never even felt like listening to any other band.

Years have passed by, and its been a long 6 years since I have listened to Jacko. Pop music has moved out of my list of preferences. But still, the photos and the pieces of videos that flash frequently on the television screen now brings in Nostalgic moments. The music was an inspiration. Was a relief. His last Album was hopeless. True. But he is irreplacable.

I am a hardcore and die hard fan of the 60s and 70s classical scenario. Led Zeppelin, Jim Morrison, Thin Lizzy, Grateful dead and Blue oyster Cult and all have no musical relation to Michael Jackson. Yet, He is the only singer, whos all songs I have heard, whos all Albums I have purchased, and He is the only singer who I have been a die hard fan in a streak for more than 5 years. Musically, I felt him better than the Beatles. And no one is ever going to sing and Dance like him.

The King of pop is dead.

Sad, the throne will never be used.

Never, Ever.

all along the watchtower again.

2009-06-23T23:17:00.001+05:30

After 29 years, I got someone ~~back.~~