The Countdown

Yes, I have a lab of my own and i do have some interesting equipments and experiments running. Poeple find it difficult to understand them, but its their problem, not mine.

It has been some time since i wanted to start a countdown.

The control panel i have designed seemed to be too complex. It was crowded with switches of different dimensions and shapes. One press of a wrong button, and the world would explode. But never mind, i have been pressing the wrong buttons, and i am sort of used to it..

The lab was psychedelic, and thin grey smoke from the tranformers filled in the air. A faint red warning light kept flickering, crying about the lack of fuel. The white board was filled with calculations, all of them proved to be wrong.

And in through all these, the machine i finally built stood upright, staring its metal eyes at me, asking me as to the delay to activate it.

A press of the shiny, red button and the countdown to activate it would begin.
A soft touch of my index finger on the button gave me shivers. The face on the computer screen seemed to be restless. The face was a replica of mine, created by myself, programmed with the indegenious state of the art artificial Intelligence algorithm. The face which has been asking me to do things, all these days. A face, which never seemed to tell a lie. A face, who helped me build up my machine.

Staring back at the face, it occured to me..
That the countdown have already started, long time before..

long twenty seven years back,
since the moment,
i was conceived!!

The Knot

Yes, it may be a marriage knot.
But its still
a knot!!

Being an animal

Some people, hate animals !! Arrogant people are called different animal names, and certain species of ladies are called "bitches" (I searched the thesaurus, and found the meaning to be the female dog. ha ha) So many people have accused me being animal like, which i never took as an offence, for i always wished i were born an animal, for different reasons quoted.

1. Clothes.
I have always hated clothes. I still hate, and i see that i dont wear much when i am alone in my room. Clothes are good only in winter!!!! I dont mind being a nudist, In fact, i want to be one!! no offence intended!!! If the world were a nudist colony, 90% of the rape cases could be removed from history!!

2. Marriage.
Why? why? why do people have to marry?? If two people love each other, and they want to live together, why do they have to register it? If its all about the social issues, I wonder how many monkeys are having social issues because they dont register!! and monkeys, until at the time of my writing this, are social creatures!!

3. No Politicians
I hate that breed. I always wished i had a license to kill people. I would have tied them all behind, and shot them in 10 different places on their fluffy body!! They eat so much that they just have too much fat!! Just in case!

4. No Money
Yes, still they live happily.. In fact, they live. I dont know if they are happy or not, but as humans, are we happy all the time?? Imagine a rat carrying a mastercard..

5. No suicide
Yes, as i have mentioned elsewhere in my blog, they dont kill themselves!!

6. No GOD
Yes, i dont believe in GOD. Animals dont either, as i believe. They dont have a heaven or hell to be worried about. They dont kill in the name of GOD. They dont build up temples or churches. Imagine a religious cat!! and a terrorist dog..

7. No Doctors, No serious health issues.
Yes, They dont have AIDS issues. Even if they have, they just dont worry, cause they dont know!! And they dont have to wear rubber each time!!!

8. Sexual Freedom
Dont take me as a sexual fanatic. Since they started writing history, all the girls are warned as to the virginity issue, and ladies used to wear the chastity belt, and the key would remain with the husband. I dont know if the ladies had a duplicate, but thats a different case.

We are all modulated as to the overrated importance of physical relationship in any relation between a man and a woman. Its very difficult for men to accept a non - virgin girl as his husband, and girls have to carry the guilt into the wedding, or some of them even suicide.

Well, The mindset has been, at least in India, modulated, and manipulated, and its very difficult to change. The writer, who is also born and brought up in India, had great difficulties in tuning my mind towards the concept of total freedom. Cant help it. Still, as i look around, at least 5 out of 10 married couple have extramarital physical relationship. So whats the point in marrying??

Its easy to say, a bit difficult to type. But its not possible to change the mind of billions of people.
The world has been, and will go on. Unfortunately for me, and fortunately for the majority, we are born human, and have to die human. We just have to live on, live a life which we have absolutely no control of. Some may disagree. This topic is for another day!!

Yes, I wish I were an animal. Any animal. But i sometimes do feel bad when people call me names.

Old feelings seldom die!!!

PS: yes, I feel the grass is greener on the animal life. Very Humane!!!

Lies - II

"I will never forget you"


Inhumane.
Never.
Lie.

Out of sight

Out of sight..

Out of mind.

Being amused

I used to be amused.

Of the stars
Of the sea
Of the speed
Of the prettiest girls
Of everything

Then it happened
World failed to amuse
But music survived

But these days, Let it be

The fastest finger work of Kirk Hamett
The tranquilizing Gilmour
The hallucinating Robert Plant
The synergic Iron maiden
The philosophical Jim Morrison
The inspiring Aerosmith

The mind still refuse
To be amused
Of anything.

Anything.

Lies - 1

" I love you without any reason"

absurd.
Lie.
Lust.

Humane.. very Humane

Everybody wants
to go to Heaven

But no one
wants to
DIE!!!

(Found this poster somewhere in the net, couldnt resist posting it. )

Comfortably Confused

Yes, things can turn around and make you a mess.
If you are already a mess, it can turn you worse.
Or if time doesnt make things worse, you tend to believe in yourself,
that being the belief that, come what may, you are worse.

Its then you find yourself a comfortable corner in this house of the bad and the ugly.
You find it very difficult to feel good, when good things come to you.
When you feel comfortable with the coarse set of feelings,
this undefined emotion of "happiness" decides to get into you,
reluctantly,
as if there was no other human being left at that point of time, for it to enter.

And you worry.
And you are baffled.
Its then the dire and the hideous feelings amuse you
better than the perfect, upright and good sensations
You love to stay away from happiness
And confine to the darkest corner of yourself

Yes, you are
Comfortable.. in being confused..

Incidents

Its boring to live your life
with every incidents
screaming at you
as to how good you are
as to how great you are

Its fulfilling to live your life
with some of them incidents
assuring your brain
as to how good you are

It could be strange to live your life
with every moment, and incidents
shouting at you
as to how bad you are
as to how sad you are

Truth that lies III

Along the desert, All though the sand
As i drive hard, All against the wind

There comes the voice, along the wind
Not a whisper, never a murmer

The voice that never, showed me the way
But i always knew the way

The voice that never, asked me to
But i would have never, either

A voice that never, gave me a shade
But i never wanted, either

it was a voice
that was with me
All through the desert
All through the sand
All though the wind

And it was all
that i ever wanted.

It doesnt matter now,
if it were the truth

for its not the truth,
that i am after...

The Soul Mate (aka alcohol)

As the sun began to shine

On the other side of the world,

I strolled down the street

To my partner, my life mate

No candle lights, no etiquettes

No customs, no prayers

We stared at each other,

Right into the eyes

The obscure face, the faint lights

No gifts to exchange, no expectations

We felt the warmth of each other

Even without a touch

The lovable eyes, and the cute face

For me, and may be, for some others

For she aint loved by many

And married women, keeps her away

I reached my hands, caressed the face

Smooth but firm, it gave a sparkle

No love to be given, no jewels to be bought

No lipsticks to be eaten, no hymen to be broken

Hands tremble, legs wobble

As she melts into me

I lay floating, above my thoughts

There aint solutions to be found

As I wash my face in the morning sun

I wish yesterday never happened

And I carry the days leftover

A headache, a torn pocket, a lost appetite.

Trapped inside me

.

Standing still,
immobile

Staring back,
with blank eyes

There aint tears
you are crying snow

There aint blood flowing
these wounds are naked

There aint pain,
the brain is frozen

There aint love
the heart aint beating

There aint dreams
You are not sleeping

There aint memories
all are trapped in ice

The soul is lost
trapped inside of me

What it takes

to fall in love
with love ??

The wanderer

Wandering
obviously, without direction

Drifting
slowly, into insanity

Merging
perfectly, into the dark

Sliding
smooth, into serenity

moving on,
into eternity...

That thing called Intution

intuition: ability to sense or know immediately without reasoning..??


So,when some of us make decisions, whatever be the social and environmental circumstance or conditions, the results are the same. As expected, and as anticipated, in the last moment, history repeats.

Learning from mistakes, he then, takes an oath, in name of God, fire, water or whatever super natural power he believes in, waits for the next chance, and if he is lucky, "this time" will have "some" differences from last time.

Yes, this thing resides in every ones mind, hidden, sometimes disguised. And as we go for the most obvious, logic choice, there is this stream of thought, which suddenly pops out from thin air, pokes its nose in every irrelevant and relevant matters, guiding ones life through a path, only known to no one.

By the time you know you had a bad intuition, Its already late.

If you are lucky,You are not too late.

Waiting for my first (good) intuition.

May be

to forget
to forgive
to care
to give

I never did.
May be thats why.

Imperfections

Imperfections. millions of them.
Amalgamated.

Not again!!

This is not the first time i failed to keep my word. In fact, i dont remember the last time i kept my word.

So i decided to blog again. That thing called mood is a messy sinewave after all.

...closing down...

Yes, This blog will remain inactive until further notice.

The reasons are endless. Even I am trying to find out why i am thinking of closing this down.

It all started on 2nd of june as I thought of a new way of thinking procedure, which led me to an astonishing state of mental stability, or serenity. Needless to say, it has taken over me.

People say its pretty difficult to change your character overnight. I disagree. It took me less than a minute to induce into myself this theme of life, which the author has no intentions whatsoever to share with the readers.

So i have decided to stop writing, as it seems to be a useless way to spend your time. (i shouldnt be writing this, either) The reasons range from the lack of interest from the author, resulting from the inability to find the reason as to why i am writing, lack of interest from the readers and coming in terms with the reality that the world (mine, and urs) remains the same if i write a blog, or if i dont write a blog.


Dont know when i will be deciding on my next theme of life.

(yes, its difficult to change your character overnight, but if you dont have one, its a different story)