Friday, October 23, 2009

Feels like it.

My mind seems to be stabilising. I am surprised it took all these years.. close to 30 years for it even seem like stabilising.

I look back at the life spent. I always preferred to look at the things i liked. I always refused to look at the ugly side.

I am scared.
Rather uneasy.
Rather disturbed.

Scared that i might hate myself. Scared to look back ride through the self realisation that I have been living different than what i really was. I have been overrating myself.

I look back at the blog. I look at the theme it reflects. I can see the darkness it spreads. It comes back to the theme that life doesnt matter much. It radiates negative feelings, most of the time.
Even this post. YES.

I fail to write humour. I tried hard, i couldnt.
I feel like lifting up the spirit of my blog.
I cant.


numb.



2 comments:

The Dreamy Princess said...

wow..
ure writing ...pure truth. good truth.

'i overrated myslf'

Finally! SELF-actualiSATION!

shiva said...

realizations help only when they transform into sum kind of a change............so i dont think even realizations would help in your case, coz u prefer to sit complacent with however bad situations are.........best of luck for a day when you would try to put your realizations to some use.