"So, it is like you put someone in a desert, with limited water, food and some entertainment - like a hand held video game. There are no roads. There is no direction. you cannot decide to take a right or a left, as there are no references to direction. You can opt to walk one way, assuming it would lead somewhere, you can rest for some time, entertain yourself, explore, but the fact that your food and water is limited will make you walk. To seek a place you can get more."
The words came out from no where. But it answered my own question. I might have unknowingly chosen the unexplored desert to a ride in a car in a known highway.
All the best moments of my life, i had it alone. But then, i wanted to show the perfect red sun to someone. I wanted someone to be with me when i walked the thickest of the forests. when i drove at midnight in rain. But it was too much to ask someone to walk with me in the desert, it was difficult to find someone who is seeking the same things i am seeking.
Things change, and unexpected things happen as usual. I woke up in the morning with droopy eyes, as i slept for hardly 2 hours. As i walked down the stairway, as i walked out into the alley, to the place where i work, something was clear in my mind. I know which way to walk to. At least for now, i know i would be walking. Not resting to enjoy the game, i would be walking, i would be beating the sun.
Until i reach the shiny sparkling sphere i see in a distance. I dont know what it would look like when i am close to it. I might have walked for nothing. I know it takes a long time to reach there. Let it be.
At least for some time, till i get bored, i have a direction.