Monday, August 30, 2010

The one long drive.


I have seen weird feats. People doing this and that. People climb up buildings, swim, they ride a cycle across the country, and all the weird stuff. And if the usual lady-with the mike with the usual cameraman approach him, he has a reason to do it. To build awareness on global warming, for the people of the slum, against AIDS, for gay rights, against terrorism, and this and that. All global issues. None of them agrees to the fact that they just need the fame or did it just for the sake of it. Doing these for the aforementioned 'noble' causes will have a chair or a 2 bedroom apartment booked for them in heaven, i guess. 

I have been thinking of this. I want to drive the good ol car (The same car that airlifted that guy in bike) around the country. Yes, it is a well known fact that the car is 10 years old, and that the make is a Maruti 800. And there is little doubt that it do lack a couple of nuts and bolts here and there, possibly from my assumption during driving that I am driving a hummer. 

What I do lack, is money. May be I should get someone sponsor me, and their stickers can very well cover the scratches here and there. But I need a cause. I cant say I am driving these 10,000 odd kilometers I plan to, for fame. :P 

Whats the best cause I can get a sponsor? Global warming? Polar bear? Turtles?


Sunday, August 29, 2010

The great Indian morality.


I like yahoo chat, it has some real good smilies. Like the devil smilie , the ROTFL smilie, the heart smilie and all. It was fun. 

It has been real long since I chatted in a chat room, to a total stranger. Last time, might be, in 2001 - or may be 2002. Or may be a couple of  occasional chats in between. For some strange reason, I logged into a chat room, today - five minutes before writing this. 

Here is what I got..

This was not, an adult chat room, for that matter.  Are people this desperate to have sex? Is the gay orientation i saw much, due to the lack of women, or is it the way the orientation is?
I waited for some more time, to see If I will get a single message which was not about the availability of a person to have sex. Could not. 

So i just wondered how it is in an adult room. Not that I have not been, but I just dont remember. 
Here, is what I got there.

Not very different in terms of theme, But occasionally i could get a couple of normal talks. Is this, why people dont really get into yahoo chat these days? I could not stand the chat rooms, as I could not find anyone, who talk normal. But, i got some real, friendly talks in the rooms of other countries. I got a lot of respect, irrespective of my race or ethnicity. 

We, Indians, claim to have high moral values, and high family bonding. It is high time we redefine morality. I listen to Hard core rock, I write in the language called english, I use a lot of foreign goods. But, I dont think I would like to go to the US or the UK and live there for the rest of my life. I like my place, I like my small town, and feels like living here for the rest of my life. I love my country. But I hate the fake morality that we field, the fake face that we show up in front of our own people. 


Tuesday, August 24, 2010



I am surprised to know I have a regular visitor other than the two I have; and I have not clue who that person is.
So, this person is, somewhere in US, close to New York/New Jersey, uses a Dun & Bradstreet Connection to the Internet, and Uses a computer with a 1440x900 resolution.. And yes, Internet Explorer as browser.

Just curious.
If you are reading this, are you someone I know??


I know, curiosity did kill the cat once..
But then, thats why they have 9 lives !



Thursday, August 19, 2010



We do what we learn, and we learn what we do.
Thats the strange way brain works.. The more we do something, the more we learn about it, and the more we like to do it.!!

Thats how the perspective changes. You can see the interesting changes, in yourselves.

Like, a close friend of mine and me used to discuss about different girls we meet. That was in our early and mid teens, when we were in high school. The most important part of the discussion will be the 'structural definition' of the essential body parts, and our own discoveries about the girl under scrutiny.

Later, I met him after a long time after he finished his dentistry. And then, I met one of My college friends on the road, and introduced her to him. After she left, I expected the old style comment from him, but what I got instead, was his lecture about the kind of dental treatments she will need, the type teeth structure, this and that. I dont know if he even had a look at her face, leave the other interesting features.

I have been spending too much time on robotics these days. And then, even while I am involved, I do occasionally think about a girlfriend. Thats the newest thing my mind is trapped into. But then, I wish the girlfriend had an ON/OFF button behind her neck, programmable preset behavioral pattern matching different moods, implementation of a prediction algorithm so as to know before hand if she is going to kick my ......, well..

Its like I might end up finding a 'bug' in the food, spotting a latency in her voice pitch, implementing an DSP filter in what she sees(while at a shopping mall), flash her memory if she finds me with this girl, and what not!!

Too much of anything is bad enough, I know. At least for now, i should decide if I should start looking


Of blood, neurons and veins.


Ultimately, do you love your lovers veins?
Your lovers flesh? the mucus, the marrow, the bones?
Is love, all about the skin that shows up, all about the proportion of the nose or the cheeks with respect to the face?
is it all about the colour of the skin?
Is it all about the fat content of a body?

It might be,
we just dont realise.

Love is stupid.
I knew it all the time.
I just used to know.
I do not need a girlfriend.
I just need a girl to share my views with.
of any size, colour and shape.


Tuesday, August 17, 2010


How many more times??
This has to end somewhere.


Saturday, August 14, 2010



I hate this.
I feel like having a girlfriend.
This is very unlike me, but true.


Friday, August 13, 2010

Movies from the west.


I am not a great movie freak. I still cannot make out many leading actors if you show me the photographs. Of course, I know Shah Rukh, Amithabh, Salman, Amir, and Sanjay Dutt. The rest is a hallucination. I know better when it comes to Malayalam movies, and it is worse when it comes to Hollywood. But I watch more movies from the Hollywood, than the Bollywood, probably because they have less complicated movies.

But recently, I have started to hate many movies from the Hollywood. They too have a formula !! Here is some of them...

1) While the hero is alone, trying hard to save the world, the admirals and the generals of the army/The top shots of the Governments will be standing in front of a set of computer screens. Fancy screens in fact. Be the hero inside a volcano, be him under water or be him in space.., they can see everything the hero sees and says. there will be one general who opposes the whole misssion strategy, and he will be fired by now or in between. When the world is about to be saved, they lose the signal from the hero... But the world is saved with exactly one second to spare, which will be displayed in some fancy digits. Then, all these people would stand up, clap and congratulate each other. Then they realise that the signal from the Hero is missing. They all go low, and the fiancée/wife/daughter of the hero starts to weep. Then a techie, listening to a low end Morse code kind of thing, detects a signal and they all jump up and down when they realise the Hero is alive.

2) The heroine is captured. She is kept in a place where a bomb is planted, and the bomb will go off in about 5 minutes. Or she is kept in some other hazardous mechanism which is designed to kill her, in a matter of x minutes. There will always be a red seven segment display counting down. The hero will come up, fighting hard with ‘n’ number of people from the villains group, mostly dressed in funny uniforms. The hero normally kills one of them quietly with one hit on the back of the neck, and then disguises himself with the uniform. And when the hero saves the heroine at the nick of time, she slaps on his face and tells him "You are late". (I always wonder why they just didn’t kill the heroine with a simple gun shot on the forehead)

3) The world is going to end. Or may be the guy/gal is going for a very dangerous mission. which will save the world. The guy/gal calls up their estranged son/daughter/ex lover/lover and says ‘I Love you.’ Tears fill up. We hear a 'weeping' 'I love you too' from the other side.

4) The villain is immobilised. The hero has won. He leaves the villain on the ground, and spares his life (the Ethics of a hero). Then the villain discovers a gun/weapon close to him, and quietly crawls from behind the hero to kill him. At this point, either the by now wounded heroine would shout ‘Jack..!! ‘ or the hero will see the 3mm size reflection of the villain in a small reflector about 100 meters away, and in a matter of a millisecond, will turn around and shoot/stab/push the villain to a wire mesh wall, where he will be electrocuted. Or any other way, by which we all know the villain cannot come back. By now, the Hero realizes he has about 10 bullet wounds, and his right leg is fractured and so and so, and now the ambulances will come, and then a neatly dressed head of NYPD/FBI/CIA will come, offering the Hero a job/promotion for which he shows the middle finger. And by now, it is night, most of the times.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Discoveries of a Lazy mind.


I remain Lazy. It was never in the genes, as I can see my parents, aint that lazy. It is fun, to lay down on a place of your choice, with a glass of ........ in my haind, with the so called 'gentle breeze on my hair,' fried mushroom and cauliflower to snack on, and probably Jim Morrison or may be Grateful Dead playing on the background. These are times when I 'think,' or probably 'use' my brain, eventhough for not so useful purposes.

So, then I think of creation. No, not by the Christian God, for I am an atheist. We make things, and may be break them. Some lasts , some dont. But still, things are born, and are destroyed. They make the world trace center, some planes brought it down. We make friendships, we break it down. We make houses, an earthquake brings it down. We makes houses, we, ourselves bring it down. We get married, we divorce. Or one of them die. We create a company, sometimes it becomes bankrupt. Sometimes gets taken over. We have a crush, we get over it. We gets born, we depart. We make a phone call, we stop a phone call. Everything HAS to stop.

Discovery :P:P :: We live in a world where we cannot live without creating something and then destroying it, for which we are unhappy most of the times.

I was unguided. I am not sure If i am right when I made that statement, but most of the decisions in my life was NOT influenced by 'somebody.' Like why I turned atheist. It was, possibly when I was about 12 years old, that I decided to discontinue my affair with GOD. No one asked me to, no one mentioned about the bad side of GOD, but I just thought like. I never liked to follow the advice from someone, and was wrong, most of the time.

So you have a book to follow, you have a set of rules you like to follow. When you are confused about how to live, you have a God to ask to, you have rules written. You believe the book is right for you. You have faith in the book. You have a direction on how to live. And it works, most of the time.

For the unguided, life remains an unsolved mystery. For the unguided, life does not have a right or a wrong. You become an outlaw in the eyes of the guided, you tend to feel insecure. You do not know if you should go on or stop it if you fall in love with your neighbour's wife. You do not know if you should have a job. You dont know if you should follow the rules.

Discovery :P:P :: If you do not follow the rules of the society or the GOD, you learn from your mistakes. Mostly painful ones. If you follow, you NEVER learn. You think you KNOW.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Theories of a lazy mind.


Vehicles. Large ones. Small ones. Shops. Theaters. Computers. Mobile Phones. Robots. Spacecrafts. Electricity.

'This invention will ease your life' - will say every inventor. Contraptions to make life simple. Information at the touch of a pad. Long distance calls. Things which we cannot live without.

Yes, things which we cannot live without.

If these things were supposed to make life simpler, and better, why is it that it is very, very difficult to live without it?

I would say, a piece of rock was a very simple thing in pre historic times. You could find it everywhere. You could use it to do a lot of things. They never missed it when you lost it. They never carried it around. You could afford to lose it.

Here comes the theory : Real simple things, are actually things you can afford to lose.

I like riding a car. One of the very simple things I always liked, was long drives. Let Jimmy page or Jerry Garcia play on the deck. I mostly feel good after a drive. Simple, huh?

Considering the pain in downloading the music, copying it to a CD or a pen drive, when the virus shows up and say "you cannot copy this file", fixing it after a couple of system restarts, Going to the ATM only to find the machine not working, and then the petrol guy wont take a card on this particular day, and when somehow you fix up things and set off for the drive, you realize you have forgotten the Pollution under control certificate, and then .....

Things dont come simple after all.

That was when I remember watching the rain fall. you could be anywhere, you never paid for it.

And yes, the theory : Real good things, are actually things you dont have to carry along.

MY problem is bigger than YOUR problem!!
Problems. People have a lot of them. Things to be solved. Things to be worried about.

We can take a leave from office on emergencies. Like death of someone close. Like falling ill. Like having an accident. Like for a marriage. These are the certified 'problems' you can put forth for skipping something.

The employer believes he or she, suffering from any of these problems, cannot concentrate on the work on board, so he gives him a leave for the day.
Very logical.

But do they give an off when we really need a break? Like when someone broke up a long term affair? When some one is depressed for other reasons? Like when you lost big bucks when the stock crashed? Or like, normally in my case, when I just feel a bit too sleepy and cant open an eye how hard I try? (probably because I have been sleeping too much on the day before?)

I would be of no use showing up in office. I would be as good as a mentally challenged. But then, for me, it is a Problem, an excuse for not showing up!! For some, it will be a silly fight with a friend, a depressing dream, a broken mobile phone, or something sillier.

Still, it disturbs to an extend that we cannot concentrate on anything else. This, becomes the primary concern.

Very relative.

And yes, the theory : There are no actual problems. They are just state of mind. It is all about how neurons are arranged in your mind at that particular point of time. What alcohol does, is, re arrange the neurons in such a way that you are in a different state. That is why you forget things, or calm down when drunk.

PS: And yes, now I know why people say its very difficult to put theory into practical.