Friday, August 13, 2010

Movies from the west.


I am not a great movie freak. I still cannot make out many leading actors if you show me the photographs. Of course, I know Shah Rukh, Amithabh, Salman, Amir, and Sanjay Dutt. The rest is a hallucination. I know better when it comes to Malayalam movies, and it is worse when it comes to Hollywood. But I watch more movies from the Hollywood, than the Bollywood, probably because they have less complicated movies.

But recently, I have started to hate many movies from the Hollywood. They too have a formula !! Here is some of them...

1) While the hero is alone, trying hard to save the world, the admirals and the generals of the army/The top shots of the Governments will be standing in front of a set of computer screens. Fancy screens in fact. Be the hero inside a volcano, be him under water or be him in space.., they can see everything the hero sees and says. there will be one general who opposes the whole misssion strategy, and he will be fired by now or in between. When the world is about to be saved, they lose the signal from the hero... But the world is saved with exactly one second to spare, which will be displayed in some fancy digits. Then, all these people would stand up, clap and congratulate each other. Then they realise that the signal from the Hero is missing. They all go low, and the fiancée/wife/daughter of the hero starts to weep. Then a techie, listening to a low end Morse code kind of thing, detects a signal and they all jump up and down when they realise the Hero is alive.

2) The heroine is captured. She is kept in a place where a bomb is planted, and the bomb will go off in about 5 minutes. Or she is kept in some other hazardous mechanism which is designed to kill her, in a matter of x minutes. There will always be a red seven segment display counting down. The hero will come up, fighting hard with ‘n’ number of people from the villains group, mostly dressed in funny uniforms. The hero normally kills one of them quietly with one hit on the back of the neck, and then disguises himself with the uniform. And when the hero saves the heroine at the nick of time, she slaps on his face and tells him "You are late". (I always wonder why they just didn’t kill the heroine with a simple gun shot on the forehead)

3) The world is going to end. Or may be the guy/gal is going for a very dangerous mission. which will save the world. The guy/gal calls up their estranged son/daughter/ex lover/lover and says ‘I Love you.’ Tears fill up. We hear a 'weeping' 'I love you too' from the other side.

4) The villain is immobilised. The hero has won. He leaves the villain on the ground, and spares his life (the Ethics of a hero). Then the villain discovers a gun/weapon close to him, and quietly crawls from behind the hero to kill him. At this point, either the by now wounded heroine would shout ‘Jack..!! ‘ or the hero will see the 3mm size reflection of the villain in a small reflector about 100 meters away, and in a matter of a millisecond, will turn around and shoot/stab/push the villain to a wire mesh wall, where he will be electrocuted. Or any other way, by which we all know the villain cannot come back. By now, the Hero realizes he has about 10 bullet wounds, and his right leg is fractured and so and so, and now the ambulances will come, and then a neatly dressed head of NYPD/FBI/CIA will come, offering the Hero a job/promotion for which he shows the middle finger. And by now, it is night, most of the times.


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