Wednesday, July 25, 2012

the Draught beer incident.

Policemen likes  love me. I have no clue why they are attracted to me, i guess the way i walk, drive or simply stand makes me look like a mouth watering dish of some sort. 

The latest, happened a couple of weeks back. We all walked out of our fav pub, one fine wednesday, and there were guys and girls, drunk, wasted, having harmless fun. People singing aloud in groups, loud laughters, thrash talk, it was all fun. I dont drink beer normally, but when this cute looking female came to me and offered me a can of beer she could not finish, i could not resist.
1) the girl was hot, but sadly, had an equally hot boyfriend on her other hand.
2) I dont believe in wasting any type of alcohol.

So, me any my A**Hole friend, started to walk towards his place, as i had decided to crash in his place. On the way, on a freaky modified bicycle, there was this guy, selling tea and coffee. Interesting idea. Tea. I have no clue as to what can happen when hot tea reacts with Gin in the abdomen, but it did not bother at that moment. We stopped for the tea, had a couple of cigarettes, and stood there talking for sometime, waiting for a friend to come join us. 

So i was just standing there, talking to my friend, holding the beer can in my had, but NOT drinking, because Gin + Tea + Cigarettes + beer felt like the weirdest of concoctions.

And in came two overweight, potbellied as usual, policemen, in the typical leopard skin bikes. I ignored them as usual, as i was not driving, i dont have to have papers, and every Indian citizen has the right to stand on a road side at any point of time in a day.

Policeman (In Kannada) : Come with me to the station 
Me : Perplexed, confused, In a mix of Kannada, Hindi and English : Why?

Policeman (In English, Realising i dont know Hindi as well as Kannada) : Public Nuisance, Drinking in public. Come to station, pay 500 fine, and stay there till morning.
Me (WTF!in mind)  I am not drinking in public !! I drank at the pub

Policeman : But you have an opened beer can in hand.
Me. (Damn. Why am i holding it when i am not drinking it) But i am not creating any public nuisance! See, i am peacefully standing, on the roadside, not even talking loud! 

I tried to convince them than i am the angel himself descended to earth, that I am such a nice guy that I mind my own business and love the people around me. Well since it did not work, i decided to do what can work.

Me: Kitna chahiye
Policeman: Pyar se dedo.(Never had, i seen a policeman saying "pyar se dedo" It sounded more like a sex worker asking for  a tip)

Hmm. I checked my wallet, looked inside for a 50 rupee note. Gone are those days when 10 rupee was sufficient. Damn. No 50. Only hundred. Through the corner of my eyes, i could see both the guys looking into my wallet.
So I took the hundred, and handed it over to the guy who was riding the bike.
He refused to accept it. I thought, damn. More??

Then he gestured to give the 100 to the guy sitting behind. AAh. Protocols. 
As they left, i looked at the Can of beer, and i saw it giving back that "I didnt do it" look. 

So i leaned on to the low compound wall, patted the street dog who seemed to like me, and gulped the beer peacefully.

Sunday, July 22, 2012


I felt weird when i got tagged.

Weird because, I was happy and uncomfortable at the same time. Happy because someone do read my blog for what ever reasons, uncomfortable because i am not the social type, at least in cyberspace. 

I thought i would skip this exercise, but the blank and confused state i am in (due to completely different reasons) pulled me into writing a blog today, and i thought WTF, i AM going to answer these questions, because now, i really want to.

thanks to Kappu, for tagging me, cause it did make me feel good. 

1. What/who got you into blogging? A note of thank for him/her/it? ;-)
None of my friends were blogging when i started writing. I came across blogger when i was browsing for something, and i liked the concept. I guess I started writing to get attention, and nothing else.

2. You are gifted with a great voice, what song will you sing to your love? 
Immigrant Song. 

3. If you are given the time and money to learn something new today, what will you choose to learn?
Today, at this point, i would pay and learn how to have a good sleep. I dont know about tomorrow.

4. What do you like and dislike about marriage? (Bachelor(ettes) can let their assumptions run here!)
like - You dont have to look around for a partner to have sex.
dislike - You cant have another partner for sex.

5. What according to you is an act of kindness?
Nothing. Every act by anyone is an act to satisfy their own mind and body.
Hold it. on a second thought, if someone gives me 5 crore for free, it IS an act of kindness. 

6. A date with a celebrity - whom will you choose and why? 
Singer Najma Akthar. Or Actress Rekha. Intoxicating looks and eyes. 

7. What adventure sport do you SO love to do right away? With anyone in specific?
Right now, no. I dont want to move my ass a bit. 

8. Do you like photography? What do you think of the developing culture of SLR craze?
I take astrophotographs, am a semi professional in it. I used to work with the SLR Film camera in late nineties, and it was fun. It was challenging. You had to feel the light, you had to have skill. I dont like it now, as you need more of photoshop skills now. And every tom, idiot and asshole i meet claim to be  a photographer these days. I dont carry my camera anymore as frequently i used to carry it. 

9. Whats your secret recipe that you'll cook to impress or woo someone? (okay if its maggi!)
Cocktails. One of my RUM or GIN specialties (I think it is special, if you dont think so, it is your problem, not mine) . Since it is secret, i cant say it here. :P

10. What do you like about your best friend?
I dont know who my best friend is.  Not saying  I dont have wonderful friends, but no, I am not the one who believes in friendships and stuff. There are some things good in everyone. and equally bad things too. 

11. Whats the MOST favorite post A)written by you B) written by others? Share the link!
Others post:  I dont know, i loved many of them, many of them amazing, but there is none which can be singled out over others!!

I am, supposed to tag 11 others, is what i understand. I dont think i will, i dont feel comfortable doing it. 
well. it was fun. Answering these.  

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Bribing the Gods.


I have always wondered if GOD loves money. Well, with the recent developments, i understand that not only GOD loves money, he will do things for you if we bribe him/her well.

Basically we have to 'please' him. I Understand prayers as the least expensive and uncomplicated way to please him/her. So when someone prays, the GOD, which/who is omnipresent, hears the prayer, and becomes happy, and blesses the person. What i am surprised is his recent interest towards money. It is one thing, GOD did not, or could not, create. He has no access to money, so he has ways by which he makes we humans to deposit money to the places of worship.

The Karnataka Govt, are one of the recent victims of GOD's greed to money and attention. Its like the traffic police at the end of the month. You dont have a choice if they catch you, just bribe them and leave. So, seems like the month end for GOD, and he decided not to give monsoon to the Kannadigas. His plan worked, and amazingly well. 

Check out how his plan worked:  click here

Yes, only GOD can save this country.


I have always believed GOD, to be a human creation. No wonder, why he has emotions, why he has a big ego. And why, especially Indian Gods, are corrupt.


Saturday, July 14, 2012

of Photographers and Cameramen.


I remember I bought my first digital camera at 15,000 bucks. well it was about 8 Megapixel, and it was the year 2007.Mobile cameras where not popular then, due to bad quality and the expenses.

5 years down the line, its had to find a camera without a mobile phone in it.

Being a techie who hates technology, every leap in technology scares me.  Men are becoming more of machines as we interact more with machines.

~ we talk more to our phones, than to our friends.
~ we see more LCD screens than our loved ones.
~ we touch a keyboard more than we touch ourselves.
~ we see the desktop more than we see our reflection in a mirror.

Last time, when I met with some of my friends, i checked out the time spent to talk to each other. I guess it was less than 50% of the total time spent, the rest was devoted to the smart phones everyone had. I am happy i dont have a smart phone, but i had my share of phone calls and text messages.

And then we have our cameramen. Who will shoot anything and everything they see. Photography  is fun. And when i saw people having fun shooting the lady being molested in the streets in Assam, I knew the time has come. People fail to see human beings in people. And When the footage was telecast-ed, I knew my worst fears has come true.

Well, people get molested. true. But at least for the sake of the girl, the media with the so - called - ethics could have refrained telecasting it. It is no fun watching a girl getting molested. If it is, if people have fun watching the clips, we are, for sure living in a very dangerous society.

We may not have to make terminator, we all may evolve to be one.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Complicated creations.


Learning Astronomy (And NOT astrology) was the turning point of my life.

The concept of big bang, speed of light, Black holes, Gravitational lensing.. Everything about the outer space was complex, everything was out of logic. Everything was hard to understand. Researchers had spent their life time to untangle the complicated network of unknowns in the universe and comes up with theories which has to be re written over and over again.

Well, coming back to earth, we have a similar creation. They are called women.