Wednesday, July 25, 2012

the Draught beer incident.

Policemen likes  love me. I have no clue why they are attracted to me, i guess the way i walk, drive or simply stand makes me look like a mouth watering dish of some sort. 

The latest, happened a couple of weeks back. We all walked out of our fav pub, one fine wednesday, and there were guys and girls, drunk, wasted, having harmless fun. People singing aloud in groups, loud laughters, thrash talk, it was all fun. I dont drink beer normally, but when this cute looking female came to me and offered me a can of beer she could not finish, i could not resist.
1) the girl was hot, but sadly, had an equally hot boyfriend on her other hand.
2) I dont believe in wasting any type of alcohol.

So, me any my A**Hole friend, started to walk towards his place, as i had decided to crash in his place. On the way, on a freaky modified bicycle, there was this guy, selling tea and coffee. Interesting idea. Tea. I have no clue as to what can happen when hot tea reacts with Gin in the abdomen, but it did not bother at that moment. We stopped for the tea, had a couple of cigarettes, and stood there talking for sometime, waiting for a friend to come join us. 

So i was just standing there, talking to my friend, holding the beer can in my had, but NOT drinking, because Gin + Tea + Cigarettes + beer felt like the weirdest of concoctions.

And in came two overweight, potbellied as usual, policemen, in the typical leopard skin bikes. I ignored them as usual, as i was not driving, i dont have to have papers, and every Indian citizen has the right to stand on a road side at any point of time in a day.

Policeman (In Kannada) : Come with me to the station 
Me : Perplexed, confused, In a mix of Kannada, Hindi and English : Why?

Policeman (In English, Realising i dont know Hindi as well as Kannada) : Public Nuisance, Drinking in public. Come to station, pay 500 fine, and stay there till morning.
Me (WTF!in mind)  I am not drinking in public !! I drank at the pub

Policeman : But you have an opened beer can in hand.
Me. (Damn. Why am i holding it when i am not drinking it) But i am not creating any public nuisance! See, i am peacefully standing, on the roadside, not even talking loud! 

I tried to convince them than i am the angel himself descended to earth, that I am such a nice guy that I mind my own business and love the people around me. Well since it did not work, i decided to do what can work.

Me: Kitna chahiye
Policeman: Pyar se dedo.(Never had, i seen a policeman saying "pyar se dedo" It sounded more like a sex worker asking for  a tip)

Hmm. I checked my wallet, looked inside for a 50 rupee note. Gone are those days when 10 rupee was sufficient. Damn. No 50. Only hundred. Through the corner of my eyes, i could see both the guys looking into my wallet.
So I took the hundred, and handed it over to the guy who was riding the bike.
He refused to accept it. I thought, damn. More??

Then he gestured to give the 100 to the guy sitting behind. AAh. Protocols. 
As they left, i looked at the Can of beer, and i saw it giving back that "I didnt do it" look. 

So i leaned on to the low compound wall, patted the street dog who seemed to like me, and gulped the beer peacefully.


xibi said...

Pani kittiyalle :P :P :P

Athira Unni said...

haha. well i guess im glad you didnt get into trouble. :)

Kappu said...

hahaha.. thats a humorous take on an exceedingly irritating incident! (I find policemen exceedingly irritating..!)

//i looked at the Can of beer, and i saw it giving back that "I didnt do it" look. //
Cute can! ;)