Its been long. In fact I cannot remember the last time. There are times when I would spend an entire day or two at my house, watching TV, eating or may be not eating, and have an occasional gaze to the outside world through the window. Thats when the hardcore outdoor guy becomes the hardcore couch potato. Lazy even to get out of the bed. And then I end up watching soap operas I never watch, just because i am even lazy to use the remote. I wont even eat or drink cause i am that lazy to get out of bed. I sleep and sleep and sleep.
Its been some years that i forgot I had that side in me. I was too busy In things, i guess. I was busy with things , big plans that failed miserably, a series of broken human relations and stuff. I have went far away from my older life when i could be happy with what i have, when i could be happy with myself around me. When I could be happy with the TV shows showing crap. When I could sit the entire day watching a cricket match.
It seems like someone have snatched the remote control of my life and he has pressed the fast forward button. I am having time for nothing, and nothing seems to be enough. And today, when i slept half day, only because i was sick, i felt nostalgic. I woke up to the old window, watching the outside world. I didnt leave my room till evening. I did not work, even though I have a lot of work. I realise I missed my sleep. I realise I am living a lie. I am living the way I did not want to live. I am missing a lot.
I need that peaceful sleep of mine which I miss a lot. I need to be that couch potato again. I need to sleep and sleep and sleep. I need to watch crap on TV. I have to stop feeling guilty of wasted time. I have to waste time.
I need to do lesser things. I need to do simple things, and feel happy about it. These are the days I make complicated things and still doesnt feel good about it. I need to enjoy the beauty of a water drop. I need to feel the breeze. I need to be down to earth. I want to live on the slow lane with inland cards and land line calls. I need to ride my bicycle again. I dont want to use the ATM. I need to stop junk. I want to build a sand castle. I want to make a hand made greeting card and send it to my loved ones. I want to keep my loved ones. I lost them all to my selfishness.
There are far better things money cannot buy. And since I do not have the money either, I guess the choice is obvious. Its time to be simple.
And its high time I get out of the house. I have someone waiting somewhere at 3:10, and its 2:53 already.