The spec.

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Alright. i have been having weird insane thoughts as usual.

And last night, i thought of the essential things required for the kind of girl i am looking at - to live with.

1) Should have a job. Cause, i may not have one, most of the times.
2) Should drink.
3) Should not smoke when I am around.
4) Should cook - Nothing fancy required - just the basic stuff.
5) Should have similar tastes like I have in terms of music - MUST.
6) Should be independent. (I am not going to pick you up from the station)
7) Should love long drives. I mean real, long drives.
8) Should NOT be obsessed with clean rooms. If you are, you better clean it up, i aint cleaning anyway.

Well I guess thats it for the essentials.
And yes, should also bear with my :

Big ego.
Philosophical ramblings.
Robots.
Long silences.

Reminds me of the led zep song:

" To find a queen without a king,
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings.

Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn 
Tryin' to find a woman who's never, never, never been born. 

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams,
Telling myself it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems. "

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:P

31

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Thats right. about two hours from now, i will complete 31 years of existence in this world. I didnt expect much from this years birthday. the day was as usual, a couple of people called and wished, and i have no idea how they remembered the day. 

And again, i realized waving a white flag sometimes dont work. The only real wish i had today, was hoping that waving the flag would work. Never mind. screwing up things, is in my blood. 

Happy birthday to me. 

:)

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Cats.

No animal has amused me more than the cat. Love  em.

I miss my old cat. 

:(

The music blog.

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Something made me remember that I have a blog on music I like. Well. I quickly logged in, dusted up the pages, and here it goes :

http://www.notesofgray.blogspot.com

You better pay a visit. If you dont, i will know. :P
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l'amour stupide

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Guess what i miss these days is a one night stand. 

At least, i would love to believe so.

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Da Job.

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Yes.
I am working. For a company. At the capital city of the so called god own country. Nothing big, but comfortable. it is very strange that I am not complaining.

May be, this is the much wanted change. May be, its because I want that distance from many of the people. May be, I want to be estranged myself.

I dont know if I am at peace. but I am drinking everyday these days.

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The dawn of the dusk.

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Dusk dawned and there he stood staring at the orange light in the sky. Brisk, shivering rhythm of the heart beat have given way to a calm and composed tune. Nothing seemed to be felt. The limbs could not feel their existence and the brain could not listen to its own thoughts. The skin felt disconnected from the flesh. Thin, long cuts remained undone all over the pale skin. Blood refused to peek out of the cuts and pain refused to hide below the flesh. There he stood, feeling the pain of every single wound, that he took over the years. Some self made, some from friends, and some from people he dont even know. It has been a while he has seen the sun rise, it has been a while since the rain showered on him all over to heal the pain. He tried to take another step. He refused to curse the fate. He refused to even change a muscle on the face.

A squirrel popped out its tiny head out of the small hole in a nearby tree. He has been observing this thin man for years now. As usual, the squirrel climbed on to this shallow branch, to have a closer look at this person. He looked at his face. They seemed to be having this conversation :

" I dont think you can move."

" I know. But you dont need to remind me. "

" Well. You took the wrong decision"

" Well. I have taken a lot of bad decisions."

" And you have hurt people"

" Yes, i did hurt many people purposefully."

" Dont you think you deserve it?"

" Well. may be. But i will still stare at the faint yellow light. I will still want the sky to rain. i cannot change my want, for even what i want is not wanted by me. "

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