Monday, January 16, 2012

In and out. and then, out.


Marriage, is what i am talking about.

So for some time now, i was having the thought of getting married. For some time, quite seriously. And it went to an extent, that i went and met someone - at her home with her mom and dad and brother - a couple of months back. That did not work out ( i still dont know why - i was not given a reason :D) and I am still unmarried.

I have never wanted to get married when i was a kid. But as years went by, the number of people around me got thinner. As they say, man is a social animal, and I, being man, is supposed to have someone with me. And since I aint gay, that someone has to be a woman.

So I sat and wondered if I actually wanted to get married to. May be I wanted. May be I am scared of the responsibilities. May be I am scared of losing my freedom that i have right now. I have a nomadic life, and I dont worry what time i should get back home. In fact, I never get back home, i always end up in a random hotel room, at some part of the country. I dont worry about future much, i dont save. I dont worry about my health much, i smoke and drink. I dont know if i will sacrifice all this for a woman that comes into my life. I am quite a selfish person, and I have no idea how to make people happy, and I am not worried if they are happy or not.

May be i will change when i get married. But then, i want to change for the right person.

I am not going to search anymore. If there is a person like that, she will come to me.

Things were never this clear for me for some time.

its out for now. No more matrimony searches.

pss: Man is a social animal. So, if i have those animal instincts, its NOT my fault.



Nefertiti said...

a good and simple solution i say...

Pearl said...

Having such thoughts is a good sign..:)

survivingbrain said...


I am known for taking good decisions. Lets wait and see :P

@pearl : what id you mean 'such' thoughts? Like my thought of not getting married?

I dont think the thoughts i had are good or bad. But if you think it is good, possibly having such thoughts are good for you.