Thursday, March 29, 2012

32

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As a child, i always wanted to die at 32. I was scared of old age. And for some reasons which i still cant figure out, i thought i will call it quits when i hit this age.

Well, i completed that figure yesterday and i dont know if i want to die now. But if lord Yama comes in his fav ride and give me the tickets to the other world, i wont mind accepting it either. I am kind of content with what i have had in life, and there are no dreams left which will make me say - hey ! hold on, i need an another 5 years !

Saying that, I dont mind living an another 5 years either. But, i have to say i feel better than when I was in my twenties, possibly because i have less decisions to make these days. So, when you are i your twenties, you will have to plan ahead for your thirties, plan your life partner, plan your kids, plan your finances and carefully choose your career. Well, to be very frank, i gracefully messed up all of them, and here I am, single, with little bank balance to be proud of, and a not-so-great career as i do not have a full time job.

I am more peaceful than I used to be. None of my dreams worked out, none of my plans clicked, but i strongly believe the peace that i have is much better than the satisfaction i could have had when my plans worked out. I am laid back, I dont rush through my daily routine, I enjoy my bath, enjoy my coffee, take as much time i want to drink it, i dont get irritated by the traffic jams, I dont have dead lines to meet every day.

Apart from the pressure from my folks to get married and a recent financial crunch due to my quitting my job, I am having an eventless life. The life I started to enjoy so much, that I think is the way i want to live for the rest of my life. And I dont mind Yama dropping a visit tomorrow, and I dont mind him dropping a visit a decade later.

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4 comments:

Carpe Diem! said...

Cheers to the desire to live some more! :P

(Also, isn't your b'day supposed to be in October? How did it jump months?)

Athira Unni said...

okay.. so BELATED HAPPY BDAY! :)
u are an atheist and u believe in Yama? :P haha

Pearl said...

Belated birthday wishes!!

Kappu said...

haha.. :) parents do their duty of getting us hitched, bosses do their duty of breaking our neck, yama does his duty of taking out lives -

YET we are not appalled! ALSO, we loveth world in spite of being infested with the so called dutifuls.

Cheers to "the" age!

Kappu