Monday, October 08, 2012

Stupid me.


Life, always has its own surprises. You plan events, expecting things to work out the way you wanted it to be. You expect people to behave the way you want them to be. All of the actions, are based on, your expectations on the reaction of the world, as you see it.

The pani puri vendor on the road expects you to give him the 10 bucks after you have eaten his stuff. He gets upset and behaves different if you dont. Your boss expects you to deliver that code by 6 30 in the evening, and if you dont, hell will break loose. Your boyfriend expects you not to sleep with that guy he suspects you like. Your mom expects you not to drink. You expect your wife to give you a blowjob tonight. You get upset, when she does not. Even the great GOD expects you to pray to him. If you dont, he is displeased. So this thing, is universal. I have no idea what Sun expects from earth, but i guess she( i dont see a dick in the photographsof sun, but i do see holes in the form of sunspot -  As for earth, we have mount everest.)  expects earth to revolve around it, failing which, earth will be swallowed. 

I got real upset today. Many things i wanted to, did not work out as i expected. But then, when i looked back to about 15 years, I never expected me to be like what i am right now. I never expected to smoke tobacco or weed, i never expected me to drink, and i never expected me to be wayward as i am right now. I dont think i am unhappy about the way i am now, because, in the end, i am having the freedom that i always wanted. Freedom to do anything i want, without worrying about what the people close to me will think. What i had to sacrifice, was the same set of friends, people who was close to me, a good job which might have made me real rich, a beautiful hot wife, and a lot of things which defines to be the most important things to have in life. 

I earn just enough to pay my pub bills, to fill the fuel in the car, to pay the loan for the small piece of land i bought, and to eat good food. Fair enough, that meets my basic requirements. 

What i dont know is, what to expect from life. I have always went along the flow, did things never worrying about the consequences. Which made me directionless. Life has become all about satiating my needs, for the moment, whatever it my be. 

So this girl came into my life. not as a lover or as a life partner, but as a simple friend. Its all about passing a couple of hi, or about talking senseless things over the internet. Which did make me feel good. I guess i will be expecting things from her as we get to know each other well. And when i dont, as per my universal theory, i will get upset. And i dont want things to upset me. May be, logically, i should not even start the relationship.

But it seems to be business as usual, i live for what i need right now, and it seems i will defy all my well developed logic and do things my brain asks not to do. 

Let things be. After all, even the mighty GOD gets upset over silly things. I should, as always, live for the moment. 



Carpe Diem! said...

1) Land, what land?! Since when did you start believing in these things? :P

2) Who is this girl? You never told me! Tell, tell.

survivingbrain said...

the land - a small piece of land as an extension .Well, i did not believe in these things, my mom did.

the girl - no no :P:P Treat me well next time we meet, and i might tell.

Carpe Diem! said...

1) Like I told you, I love your mum.

2) I only treat you the way you should be treated. :P

3) If you wrote such a comment, maybe you shouldn't have told me on phone who she is. Takes away the effect, you know. :P