Saturday, December 20, 2008

Perfect People

Yes, the world seems to be filled with perfect people. 
And they try to reinforce their state of being perfect, when i am on the wrong side. Of doing something unethical. 

Friends, they call themselves. And I am given advices for my betterment. 

I cant point my finger to any one, for I might have been doing the same thing. I am confused. "judge not, lest ye be judged"

I might get the gallows, if somebody else judge me, but then again, its their problem, not mine. I do not seem to care, at least for the moment, to let out the frustration againt some people who have really irritated me.

For the hypocrisy. 
And all the while, calling me a hypocrite. 
ha ha. they might be right, but again, their problem. 

==>I remember someone (male of the species) advising me againt watching movies, which might have a sexual content.

==>I remember someone (of course male of the species) advising me against taking two of my female friends for lunch. 

==>I remember someone advising me against drinking, and then asking me questions of his interest when he thought I was drunk

==>I remember someone asking me not to attend some party for 'moral' reasons, and then I came to know that person was very much active in that party. 

The list goes on and on. These are nothing big, nothing which  has to be kept in mind or to be felt bad about. But these are the little small things that spoils your day. 

I am getting back to the old rebellion. I am getting back to what I was. From the depths of depression due to philosophies related to astronomy, from the depths of voids, from numerous broken relationships for which i might be the only person to be blamed for, I am waking up. Its been long 10 years. But its better late than never. 

The colour blue is getting estranged. So is the already estranged colour red. 

The fire is being lit up again. I just realised the best of me. I am best when I am alone, with no ties or knots over me.  I have gone enough through the concepts of friendship and love, and realised i am terribly dislocated. The realisation that i am a misfit in those worlds was always there, but i reassured myself these days. Or, something helped me reassure myself.


I am happy not being one of the perfect people. Those morally perfect people. 

May be, thats my problem. 


shiva said...

felt like there was a verve of energy rushing in through you.for every man this search for the self is very important.hope this fire and its vitality stays.the whole thing could have been a bit more ordered, but since it could convey the tumult inside, of luck.

The impulsive RAM said...

your answer lies in the blog- you cant go back on them except here because- judge not, lest ye be judged...

as for the best of you part...if that whats the best....y slip into the normal stuff from time to time

Maybe somewhere inside, you still realise that being normal is best for you. a human being needs love, to be loved, expressed, to be expressed, and all other things that life gives....think over