Blind Destiny.

.

destiny doesnt have eyes.

If is had, it would watch its step and wont stumble into you.

at the wrong time and place.

.

That one wish

For no reason, I wondered. 

If the angel of whatever,  came down and asked me for that one wish - What would I want?

I was surprised to know i would send her back. 

Guess, i dont want anything for free. 

Good old friend.

.
When I used to push hard
You were with me, through thick and thin

When I tried to make up with some one
You were with me, all along the time

When I tried to build up a dream,
You were with me, until the end

When I tried to win a match
You were watching the game, all along the game.

When I struggled to make my living
You were with me, rubbing my shoulders

When I struggled to realise my passion
You were alongside, on my side

You rode with me, you slept with me
You ate with me, shared your life with me

Stay away from me for a while
For I would love to miss you.

Dear old Failure, I would love to miss you.
.

THe rebellion. to the conventional. - 1

.

(point of inspiration :  "Sunny days. longed by many.")

.

Sun burns.

I prefer it overcast.

cool dark wind.

shrinking myself

to the cozy blanket

on the couch

with the TV on.  

.

sexy.

Love this song!!

.

To find a queen without a king;
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings.
La la la la
Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
Tryin to find a woman whos never, never, never been born.
Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams,
Telling myself its not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.

.

(last stanza from "Going to California" - Led Zeppelin)

grrr

.

I need something to whet my attitude.

.

...

.

I am getting framed for something I have never done.

I thought that happened only in movies

.

The new year laugh

.

You laugh at nothing 

When you got nothing to laugh about.

.

Its a new year again (sigh)

Yes, after all, new years never used to be great. And there was no element of surprise this time.

I am low, low to the deepest point that I used to be once in a while. Of course there are reasons as usual. But unlike the old times, i do not feel like resorting to anything. Or anyone.

Strange.
Not interested in alcochol which used to calm me down.
Not even trying to call the very few people who i used to resort to.
Not going to EAT.
Not gaming.

Not doing anything about it. May be the knowledge that nothing can take me out of this hole i am in right now. May be thats the most special thing about it.

I have been riding the rough seas for more than 8 years now. It was exciting at the beginning, but then i drifted away. The wind took me off shore, and I do not have a compass. I thought I saw the worst seas. I thought I saw the roughest of the waves. I thought nothing worse will come in. I was settling down. Nothing can break me down.

I should have known. I thought I could make it to the shore now that I have seen everything.

I was fooled. More is to come. I have lost hope.

I am not going to make it.

Period.