Thursday, May 03, 2012

That girl.


The day started with mixed feelings. A heavy head as the result of the excessive drinking the last night, dehydration, early morning blues and on top of that, the thoughts of her. The 'her' is the topic of the post, the her, i have seen only in a vague photograph, which came out as a result of my deep understanding of how google works. The her, whose personal details i know, thanks to the freaking privacy in the internet. The her, whose phone number i know, whose email address i know. Whose friends I know, whose where abouts i know. The her, who i think about once in about two months. or may be once a month. So, I know for sure it is not love. I know its not about living together with her, i know it is not about sleeping with her. I know it is not even to be with her as a friend. But i do not know what it is. I dont know why it is, that I want to let her know that I exist. I am scared, i dont dare. I dont even dare to send a two letter email to her. And that is very much unlike me, the me i know being impulsive and daring. I dont think the thoughts of her bugs me, because she does not come into my every day thoughts at all. But what bugs me, is to know, why, I feel like THIS when i think of her.



Carpe Diem! said...

Dude. You totally sound mentally unstable stalker-types in this one.

survivingbrain said...

now you call me a stalker!!!

Carpe Diem! said...

Now? Does that mean I should have called you that ages ago? Oddly enough, I think I agree with you for the first time in my life. :P

Kappu said...

haha... reminds me of my post - "Why we stalk" perhaps yours is a "what stalking does to us"?? :)

Nice read - thanks!

survivingbrain said...

@carpe, and partly to kappu :P

yes, I collected information about someone. But does that make me a stalker??

I dont know anything about hr personal life, neithr did i bother to find out. what all information i got, came to me in a couple of google searches. I did not ven have to TRY hard !! If I had, i am sure i would have had evry possible information i wanted.

And the post was not about being behind her. It was all about the feeling i had to some one who i have never met, or seen. It was about a feeling i could not explain to myself.

And i dont think, it is wrong, to find out information about anyone i want, i dont know it that can be called 'stalking' , the way you call it.

If a girl have blatantly put up information about her in the internet for public reading, i dont think reading that will make anyone a stalker.

Athira Unni said...

I dont think it is stalking- if so, then any person who reads my blog and sees my posts, which as a matter of fact do sometimes go a bit personal are my stalkers. :) Well that just seems rubbish to me.

But Mr.Brainderanged, I think I know the reason for this. It's high time you got a company. You just need someone. That's it.

shruthimusic said...

If you had to search her details on the freaking private source- internet...and the fact that she does come into your thoughts once in a suggests that you want more...go for it....As for the stalker part...lets see how far you go!!

Pearl said...

Interesting post!