Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The good old cheap erotica.

Sexual content warning. :: If you are not yet 18 years old, please do read this. You will get a picture of how it was, years back, and yet, how we where satisfied :P


There is something about boys in their teenage. Their penis becomes the brain most of the time. So, long long ago, once upon a time, there lived 2 friends, in their teenage, with the penis governing the brain. Sadly, they passed their teenage in an era, when computers existed only in expensive schools and engineering colleges, and internet was unheard of. The inherent curiosity to explore (fantasise) the female genitalia always ended up with the inner wear advertisements in the local magazines and once-in-a-while somebody bringing in to the school,  a black and white vague photograph of a nude lady, from god-knows-where, and paying up 50 paise to see it for a minute or so. The other option was the video cassette, which they frequently did, befriending the local video cassette rental guy. So porn came once in a month or two, after planning meticulously the venue, timing, people to attend and all. The biggest concern was electricity, as, if it goes off, the cassette remains inside, and there is no way you can get it out. None the less, the entire event management exercise to watch porn normally had a happy ending. :P

And then the two friends went to the so called 'entrance coaching' to a far away place, about 3 hours from home. There they indulged in movies, restaurants, Masala dosas, Exhibition grounds, Zoo, museum and unavoidable things like that. Evenings where spent at a local bar, even though one of them (to be later understood as me) never drank, or smoked. Something was missing. Something was missing, and then they figured out, blame it on the vagina. 

They took a stroll down the famous 'circle' in that town, and lo and behold ! the small road side shack ! The famous books of those times where "fantasy" and "debonair", and Indian foreign policies where not liberal, and FDI in books where not there, for play boy to hit the market. Both of them did not have the courage to ask for the books, but since one of them seemed to be more horny, he took the courage with a stammering voice, - 

Boy 2 : FFaantasyy??
vendor : illa (no) pakshe glad rags undu (but glad rags is there)
None of them knew what glad rags was. Assuming a replacement for Fantasy,
Boy 1: Sheri, athu mathi (yes, will do)
Paying an exorbitant amount of 50 bucks for that era, the boys rushed back, forgetting to have dinner they planned, and rushed to the room.

In no time, the plastic cover of the books where stripped, and the pages where eagerly flipped for divine sight of  the naked boobs.

Well. Fashion magazine. 
Not even a proper cleavage. 

The "excitement" went down. Not actually, since neccessity is the mother of invention, and since somebody intelligent has said "seek and thiu shall find", they decided to seek, and managed to find the first erotic literature they read. a small 5 rupee book, with a semi nude girl on the cover. 

Days passed, and at the end of the 12 day course, there was about 24 books, all erotica, and 3 books, which was relevant to the entrance. As the friends packed the bags to go home, the books had to be left back, and it was a tough decision they made. But where??

So they went to the railway station. They neatly placed the books into a textile shop plastic cover. And at the crowded ticket counter, Boy 2 had an idea. He kept the cover on the floor when he purchased the tickets, and since people wont look down at a crowded counter, he left it there after he got the tickets. 

And in a minute, a good old man, ran upto him, and happily handed over the cover - "you should be careful with your belongings"

And in the next half hour, the friends roamed about the railway station like two inexperienced terrorists planing to place a bomb in a strategic place. Fear, lack of self confidence and a feeling of parting with their soul made them frustrated, uneasy and angry. So they had their usual Masala dosa - tea solution for the situation, and it worked ! 

They went out, to the almost empty parking lot for goods vehicles, and left the cover inside one of them. 
Wishing the owner good luck, and dreaming about the happiness we gave to the unknown soul by gifting a treasure any potent male would want, they went back home to the wold of video cassettes and Innerwear ads. 

And every time they walk past the small road side book shack, there used to be an innocent excitement coming up, the penis used to be satisfied with the cheap 5 rupee fantasies, or may be by an obscure black and white view of the vagina. 

17 years passed, and Boy one grew up to be a dentist, and got married and got settled in australia, and Boy 2 after a lot of struggle became an engineer, and started drinking, smoking and all other essential activities of life, and started this blog. 

And last week, as i passed by the small road side book shack at my home town, I saw them books, smiling at me, asking if i remember them. Yes, I do remember you guys, I wish i had the urge to buy you, rush home, and read you, but for once, i am sad that my penis no longer run my brain. I seriously wish it where, for the one thing i miss really in life is the innocent sexuality, the curiosity and the innocent excitement, which did die off.