28

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Jim Morrison
Kurt Kobain
Janis Joplin
Jimi Hendrix
Brian Jones

I wish I were one of them.

But then, I am 28 today.

(For those who dont know, they all died at the age of 27.)

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The Past

.
.
Past flies close to oblivion.
When I need it the most.
.
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Feeling like.

The ability to feel like/feeling like something must be the most fascinating feeling in life.

Cant make out if I made any sense. (not that I makes sense out of my 'thoughtful,' alcohol induced(not always, though) statements)

I desperately need some feelings.

The feeling of chilled wind caressing my face, leaking through my hair to the other side, cooling down an agitated and frustrated stream of thoughts, hidden deep inside my mind.

The feeling that calms me down, when i drive slowly in the middle of the night, along the highway, riding up the western ghats, while it rains heavily outside.

The feeling of excitement, long lost.
The feeling of aggression.


The body discarded by its soul, flown presumably, to heaven or hell or wherever.
The body with a failed set of sensors and lost emotions.

Hard to spot a difference.
I prefer to be the first one.

. End of a feeling .

The Spoiler

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Is it okay if I throw you a surprise party??

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The rules

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The world has no rules.

What you have is what you get.
And what you get is what you have.
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Calling it a day

_

Sometimes,
Calling it a day is a good option.

_

Drunken Musings - 1

'
I do miss a holding hand
Even though I prefer to live without it.

'

Dreams

.
..

I still do not believe in dreams.

I do not believe in things in which
favourite ones are the
hardest to occur.

..
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Fly

..

The ostrich
might not wish to fly

The elephant
might not wish to rule the jungle

The Lion
might not wish for a palace

The mountains
might not wish to conquer the skies

I Aint them.
therefore I wish.

I aint the good
therefore I can.

I aint bounded
therefore I fly


I aint sane
Therefore I think.

..

(No i am not drunk, but even now i cant make out what i really meant when I wrote this post!! I started writing something on dreams, after the post on dumpos site. And here I am. )

Promises

I am used to it. Promises that never was kept. Not that I planned to break them. While they are made, i find no reason why they cannot be kept. An then, when time comes, everything would go haywire.

I should be re thinking. Since I fail to keep 8 out of 10 promises on a regular basis, I believe I shall be having a re think. May be, I shall not make a promise.

And a new resolution is born.

Only to be broken.

The calm

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Before the storm???
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Mistakes -I

.
..
Mistakes once done
cannot be undone

I don't prefer it
undone.
..
.

Even if

.
..
Even if everyone else estrange you
Loneliness wont.
..
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The most expensive

The tavern remained dim lit, as usual. Thin white misty smoke seem to stem from nowhere. The sky was pitch black, save for the inviting gleaming stars. The day was special, they sell exquisite drinks today. And this was the day, when customers can barter drinks.

Assorted liquors of various colors adorned the counter. They were replaced by the ones brought by the buyers. The most favorite one was the "l'amour" , the drink of love. Girls and boys of all orders of sizes, shapes and color flocked around the carton of "l'amour", grabbing as much as they could. Some preferred to pay in cash, while some preferred to exchange bottles of "Compromiso." Older people seem to sell their "Desolation" but found few takers for it. They left them near the counter, for anyone to take it for free.

Close to midnight, the buyers are happy, and the bartender seems to the happy as well. But the most expensive drink was never bought, it remained on top of the stack, sporting its majestic look. It was then, he walked in, clad in his usual T shirt, scruffy as ever. The eyes had tints of red and orange, and drooped on to either side. The hair remained unkempt as well, occasionally obscuring the dead fish eyes. With a huge knapsack on his shoulders, he moved slowly to the counter, and with great difficulty, he unloaded his sack on to the counter.

"What do you have"
asked the bartender

"l'amour". Lots of them.
He replied, in his blunt, voice

"But everyone prefers to keep it"

"People makes mistakes"

"So what do you need"

He raised his head, searched the counter with his eyes, wide by now. The eyes got stuck at the top of the stack, stared at the beauty of his find.

The bartender was surprised.
"Thats the most expensive."

"But I will take it"

"I warn you, its dangerous. No one takes it"

"You name the price"

"That will cost you all you have with you"

"Take all I have"

"And you will also need to take these along with it. these comes free with it"
And the bartender pointed at the bottles of "Desolation" left over by the older people.

"Load them"

And he vanished.

Two girls were enjoying their share of "l'amour".

"People can be foolish"
said one

"I dont know why he always prefer that useless drink"

"Who cares? Its his life, not ours"
"Anyway, he is a snob"
"He is also a hypocrite"
"Of course he lies"
"And he believes he has a good deal"
"He is foolish"
"And what not!! that drink, is sure vile"

And outside the tavern, it started raining. Paying the highest disregard to the rain, he walked on, holding to his heart his bottle of "Freedom."

He believes he chose right.

Fools Day

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..
Fools day is now twice a year
The other day is April 1
..
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Being Good

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..
Being Good attracts responsibility.

(Why take the responsibility?)
..
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The Curse - I

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Complacency.
The Curse.
..
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Excitement

That feeling called excitement.
Felt again.


today,
at 1.15 PM
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Motherhood

"Do you know who am I?? If you are bad, I am more bad than you. Do you know what I am going to do? If you vomit, I will make you clean it. "
These were the exact words i heard. not translated, but in accented english. The sentence was followed by more abusive ones, but i do not remember the exact words, but it included threats to make him clean the entire toilet (Which toilet?? the ones in train!), starving him for days.. As if she worked with the Abu Garib prison..

Whom to whom??

A mother to the son.
A 35-ish lady to a 11-ish boy.
I wished they were not from Kerala(Gads own cantree.....), but as usual, they turned out to be proper mallus...

Motherhood
n.

1. The state of being a mother.
2. The qualities of a mother.
3. Mothers considered as a group.

This incident in the train reminded me of this post of Rahul. Similar, very similar. The Lady, accompanied by her husband ( fielding a dull, sad face for obvious reasons.) and her kid were sharing the same cubicle with me. I still dont know, how on earth, do I, always end up with co passengers, who speaks on the mobile phone loud, Play music on the phone loud enough for the entire train(of course the music will be irritating as well), who would keep luggages on MY seat, and not bother to move it even on request, and so on and so on. May be because i travel single, that makes it flexible for the TTE.

Coming back to the mother and the son, it all started with the boy crying out for PEPSI. Of course i do believe PEPSI is a vile drink, and I do not recommend it to kids. I do drink it, when I need to work overnight, even though the next day will follow with disgusting upsets in my stomach.

So it started. The boy was a chip off the old block(the mother, not the father), in terms of annoyance. But I was surprised with the way the lady spoke, shouting, yelling, screaming, shreaking, etc etc, as if to someone who cheated her for her life time savings. It was just a boy crying out for PEPSI. The husband was embarrassed, NOT mentioning a word, head drooping low, not able to face any other passengers, while the mother continued to yell at least for half hour, until the cater boy managed to get the black drink.

I believe, Its normal for children to cry out for things they like. But i found it NOT appropriate for a mother to behave to her son the way she did. Funny, very funny, was when she ordered, and screamed at her husband later on, as if to a slave.

I see a lot of irresponsible mothers, more on the wealthier side of the society. And they blame the kids for everything. Reminds me of the school shoot out in Delhi.

An irresponsible parent molds an even more irresponsible and arrogant citizen.
I better NOT parent one.

;)

GiFtS

The things you do not have to pay.
Could be the most expensive.

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