Of threads and scissors.

I had this dark yellow thread at my lab, ripped off from an old HP printer belt.. It was very thin, very very thin, but it was very, very strong. You just cant cut it by force..
So I used the sharpest blade, and with some effort, had a neat cut on it.

made me wonder..

....Equally interesting was some of the threads i had, before..

I once did cut a red, very thin thread, and threw away the two pieces. Some how, i still don't know how, the pieces came back on to my table, by itself, so i decided to join it together. The knot remained. And since then i have cut it over and over again, but at my time of writing, it is lying around, in one piece, with knots all over. Yes, somehow i get reminded of this thread once in three months.

And there was another one, sewed up to my shirt for a year or so. Suddenly, I lost it, may be to a sudden gust of wind. I liked it so much that i tried to find it and sew it back to my shirt, but then, the thread looked better, it now doesn't match my shirt.

And there is another one which was with me, sometimes on my head, sometimes on my feet, and sometimes on my back. I liked it much, there were no frills whatsoever. But no i have decided to clean my office off threads, so i will be letting it go.

And there are, were many of them threads. And if i had them together, or if i had them woven in fine balance of colour and strength, I would have a nice pair of dress by now, which i can flaunt anywhere..

And then, of all the things, i decided to be a nudist.

Gettiing Used to

Yes, I have to.
Or, we all have to.

There can be very strange incidents, that reccur. Yes, life has its own ups and downs, and like old men say : For every rise, there shall be a fall, and the other way round.

Technically speaking, the sine wave is the classic example.




But it feels silly,irritating, and funny when you ride through a modulated sine wave.


In simple terms, I am getting used to getting used to.

Of papa ants and mamma ants

I love to eat.

I love to keep on eating as well.

No wonder why these tiny six legged creatures love my computer table. But they are more disciplined than any other social beings... No frills nor fights at all as they 'Q' up for the tiny scraps of potato chips, "parippuvada", uzhunnuvada, and those patches of wine-stain, etc etc..

I do envy.

Taking my time off for sometime, i watched the thin line of tiny, black ants as they march on my table. I did wonder if they have any kind of relationships in their world, if there is a papa ant, a mamma ant, the sister ant, the aunty ant.. not to mention the mother in law ant.

So what if? they really had a world like us?? Imagine an ant, hanging himself, beacuse his girlfriend ant stood him up?? What if he felt bad because he didnt score well in his exams??

Ridiculous..

I do envy again. Animals dont kill themselves.

And now I hate eve. Of all the fruits in the world.. why the apple?? why?

or else, we would also be running around, (naked.. hee hee, yes i hate clothes), just like those ants.. no frills, no fights.

Worse.. the Godess of relationships love to curse me. Yes, i used to turn her down. And now, when nothing works out (as usual), due to my own silly, sarcastic, non reasonable, exaggerated reasons, i do wonder if i should be frustrated anyway.

If someone observes us, from a point very, very high, high up in the universe, they would be wondering what these silly creatures are doing. And laughing at me as i feel bad when things doesnt work out between me anyone else.

Yes, the world is very very big. Thats a different story..

But why, why why??

Why the apple?

PS: and as one of those sms - jokes say, eve should have been chinese. she would have eaten the snake first..

Square One

Clean
Beautiful
Smooth
Adorable
Cool
Big....

Square two is out of sight!!

Desire

Keeping (stupidity) alive.

At times, desire translates to actions which doesn't have any kind of justification, and makes one feel so stupid after the said action is done. Great minds ( with the exception of the author ) continues to preach as to the power of desire and dreams, and emphasises that one has to dream and should have the desire if you want to accomplish something.

The most common stimulus to impulsive desire includes the beautiful lady walking down the mall, with or without her boyfriend, the big car your wanna - be - girl friend's boyfriend own, the designer costume her best friend has, the 'n' digit bank balance you always dream of, a luxury apartment (in LasVegas??)... the list goes on

Implies anyone without a dream and desire is doomed..??

I used to have strong, very strong desire to do so many things, while i walked with pride to my self made, current state of doom-hood (its a new word. Oxford will add it next year.) And no, i didn't have any of those aforementioned desires, but i DID want to visit moon, and i wanted a ride in the latest version of time machine, just to mention a few.

So with the greatest desire and with the greatest set of dreams ever to be dreamed by any kind of sapiens that ever walked this world, i paved (dug) my own way (hole),

Only to realise i have reached my own world, exactly at the center of middle-of-nowhere, with sub-millimeter accuracy. Never knew desire had so much power.

So, dear my friend, do not allow dream, at any point of time, even (especially) in your sleep, join hands with desire. Together, they can weave the most insane kind of fabric, which leads you to somewhere far, far, south of sanity.

Yes, I know you disagree. I know people, who live because they have dreams. Who achieve because they have the desire.

These days, I live because I eat. That feels better.

I can, but i wont

The Uncertainty

The rush.
to get hold of everything you desire.

The fall.
held back by uncertainty.
CERTAINTY.

The bleeding leg

I used to be very afraid of those leeches, when i set out for those nature trips. Yes, i used to be. I still remember when i used to try hard and guard every millimeter square (a bad influence of physics and maths) of my skin. I could not bear the sight of my bleeding skin, and even with one bite of the smallest leech, all the hell in all sorts of worlds would break lose.

Things have changed.

Now i walk the jungle with slippers, and the leeches still love me.

and as the wounds increase, every year, some of us reach a point when we do not stop by to cure them. We continue the walk with the bleeding leg.

But you do not want them leeches to get higher up your legs, do you???

Of home works & class tests

Yes, at least for some time, I wish I were in school. Winding the time back two decades I slip slowly, comfortably to the good days of school hood.

The rainy thoughts of June, when i would flaunt my new school uniform, my new sticker - name - slips, a new umbrella, Shoes.. All fresh smell.

The thoughts of august when, most probably i , along with someone, would plan the designs for the flower carpet competitions. The pain in collecting money, the travel to buy the flowers from SM Street, and at last, not winning the competition. Then comes literary association, every Tuesday evening. That was one good reason to bunk classes.. If the secretary cant bunk, who can bunk, right??

October comes with Youth festivals.. The drama, the rehearsals. Then comes, the work Experience competitions, the Science Fest, the Maths fest. Again, lots of opportunity to bunk classes. The travel for the state competitions. The time out at the instrumental music class. The hangout at the electronics lab.

December brings in Christmas, the celebrations. The Exams. January brings in sports, where i, as a scout will be helping out to prepare the ground, drawing track lines with the stupid white powder. Feb is famous for the school day, when i will be the volunteer(Yes, i have the "great" authority to enter the green room.. hee hee)

And above all, the class rooms, the drill period, when Anoop chandran, Anil and Bob Mathew will run to the TT Table.. The football legends of my class wont let me touch the ball, and i end up being the goalie when the ball is not around. And when the ball comes near the goal post, somebody will announce "Goalie change" and take my coveted position.

The intervals, the Karate Class. I still remember the kick from romal, on my face and i could not speak for 3 days. And i remember i had 5 girls (ya, beautiful girls of course) watching the fight when i got the kick.

My bicycle. The fall, again in front of girls.

Chinjoop. Abhay. John. Joseph. Kiran. Anoop chandran. Anoop V. Anoop VK. Abhilash MV. Anoop Joseph. Dhanoj KP. Hari Suhas. Harish Soman. Jomy. Jijesh. Jithesh. Deepu Issac.Fajith. Arafath(has left us). Alex. Aravind. Hani Raman. Bob Mathew. Jim Joe Drucker. Jiby. Anoop KP. Ligeesh. Bebin CJ. Manoj. Nirmal. Vinod. Manu. Manjula. Ramya. Rukma. Sabi. Vandana. Anima. Ambily. Jain. Asha. Aparna. Sreyas. Sreyas (Beedi). Riyas. Amjith. Anil. Arun thomas.

The ones i remember, right now. not in any particular order.

Irritating nostalgia. I have to invent the time machine. ASAP.

Truth that lies - II

The voice came again
In Time

The voice was sincere
This time

The voice may not be
Next time?

I dont know.
I cannnot predict.

Voices come from humans,
Dont they?

The Test

When you have lost the last bit of hope
Its easy to pass the Failure test.

When you have lost the last option
Its easy to pass the Decision test.

Of Negatives and Positives.

I am confused. I had something in mind when i started this string. Now i have lost the thread to air.

hey i think it was something like this..

"Negative thinking makes you comfortable with negatives and positives, but positive thinking makes you comfortable with just the positives.

or is it that positive thinking cannot handle negatives and that negative thinking can help both positives and negatives?"

......Feels like i am cracking up ..... or have already??

The Chase

I should not be chasing people...
they might be running away from me

Hunger

my weakness
my irritation
my desperation
my rage
my Exhaustion

my point to live

Freedom - II

Things we have to sacrifice
For our kind of freedom

aint bigger than
Our kind of freedom

failures...

i need more

for

i need more

fire

Emptiness

is not when you dont have anything inside
it is when you dont want anything to get inside

Why

is that
everyday
i feel like
i want
to
die