Welcome

Fireworks.
Whiskey blues.
Celebrations.
Resolutions.
Hope.

Another idiotic year is on the way :D

The terror that will not die.

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well. Things are NOT going to stop. Its because terrorists are being made, every day, every now and then. At some part of the world.

We motivate them terrorists. We give them air to brethe. Babri Masjid. Gujarat Riots. Israel. Lot other stuff.

The rich people who buy mutilated religious lines sponsor this thing called terrorism. Even if, for the time being, we kill 90% of the terrorists by invading into Pakistan, the next generation will be motivated by this very same invasion , and some idiots may cry - "Denial of human rights"

Alarming, but true. This CANNOT be stopped in this century, atlest. But what can be done is, to tighten up the security so that less people die.

One billion Indians. hundreds may die in one attack. We bother.
We light up candles, hold TV discussions, brag, point fingers, and what not.

Hundreds die because of bad roads, due to corruption. Hundreds die of malnutrition. Hundreds die in riots. Hundreds die because of negligence. Hundreds die in stampedes at holy places.

Every day, in India.

Just that we DO NOT notice.

We have to live on. Ignore the terror. Lets not get terrorised.

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Resolutions.

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That one thing you love to break.
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The Lie

The lie was all about one piece of tissue.

2008

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too much of weird stuff happened.
Started with a bang, ended with a bang.

All what remains is a planetary nebula.



(for people who dont know what a planetary nebula is, - well, search!!)
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That old proverb

you win some. you lose some.

The war that people LOVE.

Yes. I thought I will hold myself from writing something on terror. But this sudden urge to write came in when i was taking the shower (yes, i do, twice a day, unlike you) and as a matter of fact, is not even dressed when i write this. 

It was the discussion boards. The discussion boards on rediff, and elsewhere in the web. Majority wants a war. Wipe out pakistan. Not repeat the mistake of 71. 

Hmm. Even I wanted. I wanted it  one month before. I guess it was all adrenalin rush though. Its still rushing in many people, mine came down a couple of days before. 

I have been following war situations for about a year now. I never liked history, but here I was, searching, browsing and reading everything about war. I even made it a point to see war movies - Not the American ones (which shows America in war), which i believe is biased, and hyped. 

Now, If India went into war with pakistan. 

1) What are the possible objectives - target ?

    a) conquer Pakistan

    b) Destroy terrorist camps

    c) Claim back  Pok

and then??

Thats the big question. America went into afghan, bombed, conquered. Went into iraq. Bombed. Conquered. And then??

There are more insurgents in both countries than pre american strikes !!! The attack failed. Now I will be a fool to believe that India have better economy and Army than the US. No, we have to admit, we do not have. All we have is strength in numbers, not in sophistication and coordination.

I remember the kargil conflict. It was NOT a war with pakistan. It was just clearing out infiltrators(The pakistan Army of course). The objective was to get back the land, and was limited to our side of LOC.  There was not much state of emergency in the country(Compared to older war situations). I remember shrugging my shouders when the conflict broke up. I was NOT interested. I was wondering if they need that land so desperately, why not India give it up and stop the killing. Needless to say, I did not know history. I never knew so many (millions, YES, MILLIONS) of people were killed in riots and military operations in India, Bangladesh and Pakistan post partition. Even my father was a two year old then.

500 something Indian soldiers died in Kargil. Something which could have been prevented.  No Indian city was attacked. There was no civilian casualty. Because the war was in Kargil. 

Its not going to be like that this time. At this time of economic turmoil, if a war broke up, the nation will be at a stand still. Inflation will go up. Petrol and diesel prices will shoot up. Rice will be too expensive. I am NOT at a hype. 

Remember how vegetable prices shoot up when the truck workers went to strike for a couple of days? 

Remember there was NO petrol for a couple of days?  

Remember the complains of different sectors of people when the Petrol price was hiked 5 rupee?

Remember the complains of different sectors of people when the Petrol price came down 5 rupee?(saying they should reduce more?)

Remember the IT sector coming down when US recession started?

Remember the stock exchange crash?

And a countless other stuff?

What if all came together? How are we going to face it? We will blame the Govt for going on war !! Thats all we do. Blame the govt for anything and everything. After all, its us, who put the govt there. Its us, who support corruption. Its us, who will give and accept bribe. And its us, who complain about corruption. 

We can sit here at our home asking the govt. to go on war. What we have to understand is, war is NOT something that happens in some remote area of North India, and that nothing will happen to us when a war breaks out. We, especially the south Indians (including me) have seen nothing, have NOT seen the terrible side of terrorism much, thats one reason why the feeling of security comes in. This feeling is given to us, by the soldiers who die every month, still. War will bring the killings to the civilians, and more civilians are going to die, when a war breaks out. Any takers? What about the possible riots post war?

So, if not war, what is the solution for this?

As long as we give a chance to them to get motivated (Gujarat riots, American attacks, Babri masjid), they will remain motivated. But the terrorists are a very small minority. All we need to do is to tighten up the security measures. The US was not attacked afte 9/11 NOT because they attacked Afghanistan. Its because they spent, and acted on the security measures. They have least corruption, at least not when it comes to national security.

Its obvious, if the Coast guard was on alert, This could have been avoided altogether. ALTOGETHER. The knowledge of the smuggling route helped them. Why was there a smuggling route ?? 

You dont need a war to handle terrorists. All you need is to clean up the inside, and remove pot belly policemen and from the force. Forget the politicians. 

Well, we know its easier to go on WAR. 

 

Moral people

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Morally correct people normally never keep the lines of morality they dictate to others.

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Perfect People

Yes, the world seems to be filled with perfect people. 

And they try to reinforce their state of being perfect, when i am on the wrong side. Of doing something unethical. 

Friends, they call themselves. And I am given advices for my betterment. 

huh. 

I cant point my finger to any one, for I might have been doing the same thing. I am confused. "judge not, lest ye be judged"

I might get the gallows, if somebody else judge me, but then again, its their problem, not mine. I do not seem to care, at least for the moment, to let out the frustration againt some people who have really irritated me.

For the hypocrisy. 

And all the while, calling me a hypocrite. 

ha ha. they might be right, but again, their problem. 

==>I remember someone (male of the species) advising me againt watching movies, which might have a sexual content.

==>I remember someone (of course male of the species) advising me against taking two of my female friends for lunch. 

==>I remember someone advising me against drinking, and then asking me questions of his interest when he thought I was drunk

==>I remember someone asking me not to attend some party for 'moral' reasons, and then I came to know that person was very much active in that party. 

The list goes on and on. These are nothing big, nothing which  has to be kept in mind or to be felt bad about. But these are the little small things that spoils your day. 

I am getting back to the old rebellion. I am getting back to what I was. From the depths of depression due to philosophies related to astronomy, from the depths of voids, from numerous broken relationships for which i might be the only person to be blamed for, I am waking up. Its been long 10 years. But its better late than never. 

The colour blue is getting estranged. So is the already estranged colour red. 

The fire is being lit up again. I just realised the best of me. I am best when I am alone, with no ties or knots over me.  I have gone enough through the concepts of friendship and love, and realised i am terribly dislocated. The realisation that i am a misfit in those worlds was always there, but i reassured myself these days. Or, something helped me reassure myself.

 

I am happy not being one of the perfect people. Those morally perfect people. 

May be, thats my problem. 

...

If it were in India, they would ask reporters to enter the conference hall without shoes, from then on. 

(yes, i am talking about that stupid bush and shoes at him. )

Annoying Technologies.

Yes, it was netravathi express, as usual.

And as usual, I had to fight for my seat - with a punjabi family this time.
That was fine, its a daily routine. I only wished the other daily routine didnt start. Well, wishes are always wishes.

It was a stupid punjabi song, full volume. No mercy ! Yes, I am talking about people playing music loud in trains. I always go and ask people to use a headphone or to lower the volume. But this time, i just had a fight with the family over the seat (that very much belong to me), so I decided to keep quiet.

Somebody else thought otherwise.

There was this man, probably at his early sixties. He featured his shiny forehead, with little or no hair on the front half of the head. The other part did feature thin lines of hair, white, black and brown, manifesting old attempts to paint the hair black. The upper side of the face was flat, while the lower side resembled the white make up of Kathakali artists, the colour being brown. The dress resembled that of a retd. Govt employee, of the 1990s. The posture was similar as well.

Yes. Then it happened. He took out his pen. Removed its top.

And from the pocket came one of the modern(i guess) slide phones, with a touch screen. With the ease of ticking on a survey sheet, he touched his way to his music. Ayyapa songs. One unit volume higher than that of the punjabi stuff.

The fact that me, the techie, still do not know how to dial a number on one of those hi fi phones becomes irrelevant. I did not feel bad because i still live in pre historic ages when it comes to tech gadgets. I felt bad because other people also joined in for the competitions.

I vaccated the seat i fought hard for. Went to the door, stood on the foot board, watching the scenery pass by. I didnt have to pay this much to stand on a food board. I could have very much opted for the general compartments rather than in an air conditioned one.

I have been using a mobile phone for about ten years now. Never did the concept of mobile phones annoyed me this much. Forget the guy sitting next to me who would shout out figures in lakhs. Who would shout his entire family history to the fellow passengers. Who would shout at the subordinated over the phone. Its shouting alright. I hoped it was in private.

Mobile phones do annoy me. The facilities it give is not worth the headache it gives. A technology which was supposed to simplify our lives, is just complicating it.

That thin feeling again.

Where am I now?

Dislocated from my favourite place, knowingly or unknowingly. I wont say I am lost. As they say, you cannot be lost if you got no where to go. I dont know who said it, but I like the statement. Not that I always wanted to go somewhere when you put it in the "Life" perspective. I was ambition less. I was dream less. I was someone who was never driven by dreams, but by pure instinct.

Yes, where am I now?

Why should I feel bad anyway? The rain may fall, the sun may shine. It happens all over the world. For everyone who live this world. as living beings. Should I be happy that I am still there? Or should I fret that people my age has reached fancy places, or have achieved heights of "success"? Well thats their problem.

I am alive, in one piece.
I can afford to eat.
I can afford good clothes.
I dont necessarily, have to support my parents
I can afford to drink
I can afford to travel once in a while
I can afford to maintain a car
I can afford air conditioned coaches
I can afford air travel once in a while
I can afford front row at rock concerts
I can afford to eat at fancy places
I can afford to live without a boss at work.
I can take a vaccasion whenever i want.
I have someone to call when i feel bad.
and a whole lot of things.

I remember the thin, young , 17ish looking boy at the bar yeasterday. He claimed to be 19. He came from wayanad, all the way to cochin. He works hard all day at the bar. He is hardly paid. He has to earn all the money from the 'tip' we people give. He has to listen to all the abuse the drunk guys shove upon him. He got a family of four to support, back at his home. He got an ailing father who cannot work.

And I am worried that i am no where. Watch the well of guys of my age and lesser, with green eyes.

I used to think I was great. I just realised how small i became in front of this 19 year attendant at the bar, who does a whole lot of things that I can ever do.

I was soaked in 480 ml of old cask rum just10 hours before. Guess i need more of them now.