That thin feeling again.

Where am I now?

Dislocated from my favourite place, knowingly or unknowingly. I wont say I am lost. As they say, you cannot be lost if you got no where to go. I dont know who said it, but I like the statement. Not that I always wanted to go somewhere when you put it in the "Life" perspective. I was ambition less. I was dream less. I was someone who was never driven by dreams, but by pure instinct.

Yes, where am I now?

Why should I feel bad anyway? The rain may fall, the sun may shine. It happens all over the world. For everyone who live this world. as living beings. Should I be happy that I am still there? Or should I fret that people my age has reached fancy places, or have achieved heights of "success"? Well thats their problem.

I am alive, in one piece.
I can afford to eat.
I can afford good clothes.
I dont necessarily, have to support my parents
I can afford to drink
I can afford to travel once in a while
I can afford to maintain a car
I can afford air conditioned coaches
I can afford air travel once in a while
I can afford front row at rock concerts
I can afford to eat at fancy places
I can afford to live without a boss at work.
I can take a vaccasion whenever i want.
I have someone to call when i feel bad.
and a whole lot of things.

I remember the thin, young , 17ish looking boy at the bar yeasterday. He claimed to be 19. He came from wayanad, all the way to cochin. He works hard all day at the bar. He is hardly paid. He has to earn all the money from the 'tip' we people give. He has to listen to all the abuse the drunk guys shove upon him. He got a family of four to support, back at his home. He got an ailing father who cannot work.

And I am worried that i am no where. Watch the well of guys of my age and lesser, with green eyes.

I used to think I was great. I just realised how small i became in front of this 19 year attendant at the bar, who does a whole lot of things that I can ever do.

I was soaked in 480 ml of old cask rum just10 hours before. Guess i need more of them now.