Happy me.

.

I laughed.

I smiled.

I am the happiest person on earth.

And this time I am NOT sarcastic.

.

Though I am riding the roughest wave ever.

.

CLOSED

Brainderanged will remain closed for a while.

The writer has a lost motivation.

In through the morning sun

Things were a bit too fast. Its interesting to see how the smallest of the things change your life into a totally different perspective. And yes, people believe they have complete control of their lives. If they do, they are probably living a very simple life, and living in line with the society.

Well, unfortunately, I am not.

I love the blaming game. If only i had someone to blame.

Like, the last week. Days were filled with a long lost feel good factor except for the annoying calls on the mobile phone. The nights were bad. The consequences of the morning light and the laughters came at night.

Everyone is feeling bad.

Who is to blame?

The blogger page?

Or the social networking site?(from which i got the blog address??

My car?

Or the sweet little thing?

Myself?

Or the man at the other corner of this stupid shape?

Who will I blame for the tears everyone had?

And yes,

Who shall i blame for the peaceful moments?

The laughter?

Who shall I blame for letting me be myself?

Who shall I blame for waking me up from my numbness?

Who shall I blame for the heartfelt smile I had after a long time?

And so, why should i blame at all??

I am not hurt.

I am just missing things.

And I miss them bad.

Confused.

.

I dont remember if i were this confused.

I remember college. I would wake up at 9 for the 9.30 semester exam. I would decide not to write the exam, in a matter of seconds, just because i felt like sleeping a bit more. Never confused, never had any regrets. Was never confused, when i decided to quit some of my relationships. A matter of seconds. No not even a second. Its like the decision is etched in my mind beforehand, i just have to look at it and do whatever is supposed to be done.

I hate uncertainty.

I tried hard to make things simple.

I have got into this piece of thread, in fact, a beautiful piece of thread, but tangled up with two threads lying around.

I knew it when i saw it.

And I knew it when i got tangled with it.

I want to get out, and I dont want to get out.

even after 29 long years of complications and stuff, I refuse to implement the most obvious solution.. And I know I will be the one who will be hurt the most in the end.

I love complications, dont I??

One last kiss.

.
How many times have I felt
the warmth of another breath
brushing past my face
on a moonlit night

How many times have I let
my heart beat run away
How many times did i feel
the life of every kiss

How many times did i feel
the pain of an empty hour
How many times did i hug
the dream of a lifeless lust

How many times will i give
The pain of an unfelt pleasure
How many time will it take
to have a painless kiss.
.

.

I guess I CAN drive alone.

.

I am more used to it.

.

The phone and the days.

.

The phone will wont ring.

Somehow I know

.

Gone Too Soon

Michael jackson, Album : Dangerous.

Like a comet
Blazing 'cross the evening sky
Gone too soon

Like a rainbow
Fading in the twinkling of an eye
Gone too soon

Shiny and sparkly
And splendidly bright
Here one day
Gone one night

Like the loss of sunlight
On a cloudy afternoon
Gone too soon

Like a castle
Built upon a sandy beach
Gone too soon

Like a perfect flower
That is just beyond your reach
Gone too soon

Born to amuse, to inspire, to delight
Here one day
Gone one night

Like a sunset
Dying with the rising of the moon
Gone too soon
Gone too soon

.

THE CHAPTER 1 :: The end of a beginning.

“The airtel mobile you are trying is currently busy. To leave a voice SMS, “

He pressed the red button. The message did irritate him. It’s been 3 days, and he could not get the person on the other side of the phone to talk to him.

He reclined on the blue chair. The chair felt comfortable. He laid his hands over the armrest, held it and it seemed he wanted a holding hand. Leaning back, he tried to relax, but those memories kept on coming. He tried to switch the thoughts that came in, but one thought gave way to another. His head felt heavy. He wanted a break.

The window on his side opened to green fields. The red sun was seen sinking to the fields at a distance. Thick films of wind flew in once in a while, and this time, pushing down a stack of papers carelessly placed at one side of the corner table. He looked down to see one small piece of paper, pale yellow in colour, slowly coming to a stop, near his feet, being pushed by the wind. He felt the paper staring at him.

He stood up, walked slowly to the toilet, and washed his face.

“ I have grown old,” Thought he.

He took his towel and wiped off small drops of water on the mirror. He remembered the number of times he did that, whenever he wanted to call it a day. He didn’t want to do it again. He looked out of the toilet window. A small spider was weaving the web.

“Another life into this world” he thought. Striving to live, striving to catch the prey.

A lean sarcastic grin came to his face. His head was feeling heavier. He walked slowly to the hall.

“My house. My dream. ”

He used to believe in dreams. He believed living one’s dreams was the essence of life.

Well, he used to believe.

Walking out of his house, he gave a thousand rupee note to the familiar beggar he met on the street. He walked straight to the skyscraper nearby, without looking back at the eyes of the beggar he always wanted to watch.

At the lift, he stared at the small kid with the kitten. He remembered his childhood, when he used to play hide and seek. He wondered why the sight of the child did not bring him happiness.

By the time it was the topmost floor, he was alone in the lift. Walking out, he paused a moment, and watched the lift doors close.

“Closed.” He thought.

Taking the stairs to the roof top, he stared at the sky. The sun had disappeared. The fields has turned brown.

“And they call it the dusk”

He remembered he was born at dusk.

Slowly, he climbed the parapet.

And yes,

Without even looking down, he took a step into the air.

..

The Sweet Little Thing

.

The Sweet Little Thing is safe home.

I have never been so relieved.

.

.

break down

.

Fuckin untitled.

.

Nothing lasts forever.

I agree.

.

But why is it always like this?

That it had to die the very moment it was born?

.

That one poem.

Let the roads wind

all through the night

Let us flirt with the wind

all through the night

Let there be fire in me

to light up the night

Let there be a holding hand

to say its alright

Let there be sun at dusk

to keep an eye on us

Let there be moon at night

to wish us all the luck

Let there be little arguments

and there be silence

Let there be a bit of smoke

when you hit the low

Let the time fly by

as it never seem to slow down

Let there be you on my side

and let me be at peace

Let me keep on driving

Till i feel i am tired.

Let me keep on driving

Till i am alone again.

of green roads and a four wheeler.

.

I just cant get anything to write.

I tried hard.

I did.

.

Not too fast.

.

Not too fast.

Slow Down.

.

The hole and the way.

.

where there is a hole, there is a way.

.

:D

of yellow flags and a hundred miles.

Had a good great time.

Now I am scared. Things happened so fast. Things that has happened fast last short. real short.

I dont want to.

Captain, you may raise the yellow flag now.

period.