New world.

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Will a brand new world help?
It was brand new when it started, after all.

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:(

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I will miss 180.149.49.#

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Fitting in.

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Its like the wrong piece in a Jigsaw Puzzle. Sticks out. No matter how hard you try to fit in. In the end, only to be thrown away or torn by the impatient kid.

Useless to the user. Good only to be recycled.

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To live or not to.

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Its true, I am not in the influence of any kind of alcohol right now. I can still write, contrary to the popular belief. I can think, I can argue. I can be philosophical.

I wonder if I should open up that bottle of vodka hiding behind me. I remember somebody said -

"Alcohol does not answer your questions. But it helps you to forget the question"

Well,, i do not have a question right now. I am NOT frustrated now. I do not feel I need to die. I do not feel I need to work. I do not feel like calling anyone. I do not feel like watching videos of people having sex. I do not feel like I need to fix up a job ASAP. I just feel like laying down and feel good. I feel like sleeping. I feel like walking down a misty winding road with white lights on either sides. I feel like floating on a piece of carpet like Alladin used to. I feel like falling into sleep on the lap of a woman, and falling in love with her.

Things change. From the times when I used to feel horrible, from the times when I feel serene, The times when I felt pleasure, from the times when I felt orgasm. Times when I wanted to die, when I wanted to live. When I wanted to dream. When I wanted not to dream.

Is it our choice, what to feel? Is it our choice, what to take??

What is, the matter of life and death??

I know a teenager who tried to kill herself, because the guy who she had a secret crush with, started dating another girl. He didnt even knew she existed. I know somebody who thought it was a matter of life and death, if she flunked her exams. I knew someone who would want to die because he could not find a good enough reason to live (That would be me).

You still think it is our choice??

Do I care? All I need is a pint of whiskey to forget the question.

You can opt to live without worrying about things, and you can opt to live worrying about things.

Either way, you end up in the same way. None of you gets a trophy to carry to your grave.

God and his crimes.

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What if, GOD could be tried for his crimes??

The whole of hell wont be enough.

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late night blues

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Empty cups hold used up leaves

Another night devoid of sleep

Hear the starving souls weep

right behind our fears

Let the ghosts play on

Can we bring them to a board

Where we move the numbers

To listen to a long lost soul

Tiny grains of shiny sand

Thrown to the heavens once again

See the freckle faced moon

Try to outshine the sun

Thin films of midnight breeze

soothe down the night again

Let the spirits of the once together hearts

Lay close on each others arms

Let the candle burn on

Till the night burns down

Till the morning bird sings

The song of a brand new day

Wished the night lived on

Till I washed my blues down

Till I wished my dreams well on

Till I want to move on.

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Sinking.

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Sick

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..of these every droopy eyes aching to close down at every possible opportunity. Every instant seems to pull me down to eternal laziness. Nothing seems to be motivating. An upset stomach, well protected by a thick layer of fat deposit, caused probably by eating upto ten bars of chocolate a day,, Tired legs and hands, an ever clogged throat, which i put the blame on for my notorious singing skills, Lazy molecules of blood with less counts of hemoglobin, a seriously unconnected brain which always does the right thing at exactly the wrong time, a memory with slow fetch cycles and zero error correction, and a mind walking through the blurred thin line between the two sides of sanity.

'Sick' is the perfect word to print on the label.

I guess, I am really sick. Still I refuse to believe.

I guess a gentle caress on the back of my neck, through my hair, is all I want.

Thats all it takes.

It is far, far better than a handjob.

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The Haunting memory

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Beautiful memories haunt real bad

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Ctrl+Alt+Del

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Today is 7 July 2010.

Will this work??

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Potentially insignificant.

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Enough.

Another day of strike. And I wonder where this country is up to.

I always maintained, that politics is a place for people who have no skills, no heart for the country. This is a case for India, and may be many countries surrounding India. May be that is the culture of the subcontinent. The love for oneself. The disregard for others.

It is perfectly fine to love oneself more than anything. I am one of them. I will not save someone risking my life. I will not help someone if I will lose something. But I do believe most of me have a consideration towards others.

Coming back to the politicians. We all love to blame the government, We all love to blame the system. What we forget is, they are very much part of us. If they are not considerate, if they are corrupt, if they eat up a major chunk of the national treasury, it is because majority of India, including you and me, are their kind.

We forget to look at ourselves. We all point fingers. We all forget to live. We forget to ignore.

Yes, you figured out the hole in the other guy's underwear, and he found the one in yours too.

When will we stop doing insignificant things?

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