Thursday, November 11, 2010

Aah. Dates.

I got hell lot of work to do. And thats the only time when i love the breaks.
Thats when rediff comes out with another stupid thing, an article on how to impress your date.
Interesting. They should have written this many years back.

Well. Been a long time since I took someone for a date, and I do not think I even want to take one these days. But looking at it. I guess would normally do what the writer ask you not to.

I shall call the writer DE (Date expert)

1) Right venue!! DE says not to go to a pub or a bar. 
Well. I just cannot think of any place other than the above two. Restaurant? No way.

2) Making the right conversation. Damn. 
There is a huge list as to what not to talk. Seems like I will have to print this in small size and then refer it every time I start the conversation. Or may be I should learn how to use those fancy mobile phones I hate like anything. I guess they will surely have these features to filter things.

3) Dress appropriately. Double damn.
I am normally seen in this t shirt, never ironed, and in my shorts, or in my jeans. I am sometimes seen in my running shoes, or mostly in my bathroom slippers. I wear them to hotels, I wear them at my office (Me being boss- no one dare ask a question :D) and I wear them when somebody drops in for an interview. I wear them when I go for long drives, I wear them when I go for parties.  Well. I cannot dress different for a girl. No way.

4) Manners. oh. 
Well. I remember my first date when I ate up almost twice as the girl ate. Well. I am a known glutton. I normally do not scratch my butt or poke a finger in my nose when someone is around. But. I do dart for the last chicken wing. I believe in eating up everything.

5) Dont try too hard. The DE says do not exaggerate.
I have no idea if I do. Sometimes I do, I guess. But these days, its quite the opposite. I keep pushing myself low.

6) Dont be too Judgmental, says the DE.
Well. I will have to. I do not mind a date being messed up for many reasons. But I cannot accept lies. I cannot accept a girl trying to be someone she is not. I hate the girls who says 'achooda' and 'chweet' and is all Bollywood. I would love it if the girl can be on her own, do her things and can survive alone.

7) Similar to point 6.

8) Dont bring up the ex. 
 I will not. But if the girl asks, I will. But unfortunately I dont have much to tell much against her, as I was the reason why it broke up. :D

9) The DE asks me to read the signals, as if things are going fine. 
I wished I have that ability. As to know if the girl is interested. Only if it was as easy as reading voltage in a meter. All you have to do is to plug in two wires on either of her ears/forehead and the digital display will show the percentage. ! Well. I guess I will settle down for the handshake. No. Not the handshake. But not the kiss. May be a hug. Yes. Hug is better. Or may be if the signal is too weak, I shall wave the hand.

10) Follow up.
Well. I never do. I wait for the girl to put the first step.

Just As I believe. Dates are too complicated. I am better in making robots and sky watching with telescopes and in driving the car. Good ol car. Here I come. We got a long way to go.

1 comment:

Pearl said...

Wah!that was really good...i had a good laugh reading some points...:)